General Category => Making the Best of Bed Rest => Topic started by: Alicia on June 10, 2011 at 12:42 AM

Title: I'm not dead, I'm just laying on the couch for 13 weeks!
Post by: Alicia on June 10, 2011 at 12:42 AM
This is how I currenlty feel!

I've had a change of 'helpers' this week.
I'm 5 weeks in to a 13 week stint to bedrest.
With a 16 month to look after, I need a lot of help while my partner is at work.
I'm only allow up to go the toilet and have a shower.
So I have family on shifts giving up their precious time to be here.
We got a new helper yesterday.
So instead of reading my daughter books, giving her medicine, feeding her in the highchair, cuddling her, tickling her and generally loving her, I lay here watching her being carried around and whisked off to different parts of the house.
I'm not dead, I'm not ill, and I'm still mentally capable of doing hundreds, prehaps even millions of things!
It makes we sad to have her taken away, in a time when I really need my hope around me.
I don't think people realise how debilitating it is to have to ask for everything - food, water, the fan on, the fan off, a blanket.... but to have to ask for time with your own child, it's just not nice!
Title: Re: I'm not dead, I'm just laying on the couch for 13 weeks!
Post by: HeatherGayle on June 10, 2011 at 10:44 AM
I totally understand. I have always been "the helper", and being in a position of needing all the help was really hard to swallow. I just keep telling myself that this is a season and soon we will be through it, and I will be able to be a little bit more independent. My kids have had an interesting time adjusting, too. I explain to them that this is only for a short time and soon Mommy will be back to her normal self. You can do it! 8)

ps: I am on another mommy forum, and I saw your post, and mentioned that I was on a preterm labour forum! You found it! ;)
Title: Re: I'm not dead, I'm just laying on the couch for 13 weeks!
Post by: momofbabyblue on June 10, 2011 at 12:02 PM
I have a 20 month old & have been on bedrest for 10 weeks now. I've had a lot of people in and out helping w/ my son and it has definitely been a trying experience for me as well! We have people from our church helping 2 days a week and my in-laws help the other days. And it has been my in-laws who've been the most irritating!! They hover over Blue all day and often undermine my authority w/ him so that by the time my husband gets home from work, Blue is a wreck - throwing tantrum after tantrum. At the beginning they tried to keep Blue away from me, but I tried to stop that. We taught Blue how to climb up onto the couch w/ me and would spend lots of time cuddling together, reading books or watching kid friendly videos on YouTube :) I remember sending a text to my husband while he was at work one day that said "Your step-mom is driving me crazy!" while I was hiding in the bathroom crying! It's really hard, but if you can find a way to address it things will be much better!

At the beginning I spent a lot of time upset b/c I didn't feel like I could still be Blue's mom. I felt like, by protecting one baby, I was cheating the other. It was really hard for me, but by working to figure out what I could still do w/ Blue that has gotten easier.

Hope you're able to get thing worked out w/ your helper! If nothing else, this place is a great place to vent :)
Title: Re: I'm not dead, I'm just laying on the couch for 13 weeks!
Post by: Staci on June 10, 2011 at 12:48 PM
I am also struggling being away from my 2 year old daughter. The worst part being I don't get to see her everyday! The hospital we are at isn't close to any family so my parents and my in-laws are taking turns watching her. Of course her behavior has been going downhill in the last 3 weeks I have been in the hospital. She has no consistent routine and she wants her mommy and daddy. I love our families and appreciate everything they are doing for us, but am afraid my daughter us turning into a little monster because of all of this. I wish so much that I could go home and be with her and enjoy the summer. I know I need to do what is best for baby #2, but it is so hard not to be there for my daughter.
Title: Re: I'm not dead, I'm just laying on the couch for 13 weeks!
Post by: Marvin on June 10, 2011 at 02:31 PM
I'm on bedrest and also have a 3.5 year old and an 18 month old. It is very tough. The older one is old enough to understand that I need to 'rest' but I can still lay on the floor with him to play blocks, etc. The younger one will bring me book after book. My situation is different than yours though as I am on "sick leave" from work and so still get paid and thus they are still going to daycare every day. Weekends and evenings I spend a lot of time with them but none of the running around that they were used to. I know that this won't last forever and that is what keeps me going.
Title: Re: I'm not dead, I'm just laying on the couch for 13 weeks!
Post by: Alicia on June 14, 2011 at 01:43 AM
Well and week and a half into FIL, I was told I was sick.
But I relocate from the bed to the couch to play with her AND found I can be on bedrest on the floor!
And just play and play.
I have had to ask many many times if he could put her down.
If she could be back at certain times (not happening).
My parnter helped by saying one out door activity a day and the rest of the time playing with mum.
People listen to him.
BUT he also told me to be nice and appreciate the (not really) help.

Good luck girls.  It sucks!
Problem is by time time I get things running a bit smoother, they go.
I'm sorry to hear about the hospital time with a young child - my biggest fear.
I did up a schedule (because my mum asked) about her sleeps and feeds.
And her foods.
But was worried aout how they handled her personality - need to complete tasks and not have things taken off her.

Thnks for supporting my winge!