General Category => What's Your Story? Tell us. => Topic started by: Jadeandrainbowbub on January 08, 2018 at 12:58 AM

Title: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on January 08, 2018 at 12:58 AM
So, I am only early on in my pregnancy (9 weeks). I am pregnant again after an early loss, 6 months ago. Really wanting this baby to get here safe and sound. I have been having complications already, and I also have a history of preterm labour, IC, and IU with my last two babies.

Last week I ended up in the emergency department, sure that I was having another miscarriage, with bleeding and severe cramping. At first they told me I was having a miscarriage, and then they gave me an ultrasound, which showed baby growing really well! My HCG levels were also very high and they said bub has a great heartrate. The scan also showed that I have a cyst which has ruptured and was causing the bleeding and pain.

I was put on bed rest for two weeks, to help stop the bleeding and cramping. I have a week left to go. I haven't had any more bleeding which is a relief, and I have another ultrasound in 2 days time.

I also have some fibroids, which my dr is keeping an eye on. With my last successful pregnancy I had very large fibroids on and around my babies placenta, and it caused bleeding and growth problems.

I feel like this pregnancy has already had a rocky start, and I am just hoping to at least make it to 24 weeks. Then my next goal is 28 and so on. My last two successful pregnancies I had preterm labour at 19 weeks and 32 weeks. They were able to hold off the labour with medication and bed rest, and I delivered them both at full term,  to my relief!  So now I am trying to be positive and rest as much as I can to give my bub the best chance.

Anyhow, sorry for the essay!  :) Hoping to get some support. And give support as well
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: EnglishRose23 on January 08, 2018 at 09:00 PM
Just wanted to say hi since our due dates must be really close together (I'm 8 weeks along)! It sucks having complications this early because it just makes pregnancy so stressful. We are the same with our goals (although I have 22 weeks and 23 weeks marked on my calendar too, some hospitals will attempt to save the baby at 22 weeks, and most will do it at a parents request at 23 weeks). Do you have good help with your other children while you are stuck on bedrest? That's been hard for us to juggle already, I've had 5 sitters over for interviews so far and they have all turned down the position since the on again off again bed rest makes the hours so unpredictable. Let me know how your next ultrasound goes!
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on January 10, 2018 at 09:43 PM
Hi :)

It does suck having complications this early. I feel like I will be holding my breath for the next few months..  So stressful! That's good to hear that there is some chance at 22 and 23 weeks tho. It's a bit reassuring for me. :) At the moment that goal feels so far away but I guess we will just have to take it day by day.

I had my follow up ultrasound yesterday afternoon, and they have now dated me a few days different. I'm now due the 18th August. Whats your bubs due date? :) We must be pretty close!

Bubs heartrate was 168 which they said was ok. But they didn't tell me about the cyst and what's going on there! They just told me that I will have to go to my follow up dr appointment to discuss the results. So I am trying not to freak out! My dr appointment isn't till Monday.  I was hoping they would tell me some more about it at the scan. I havent had anymore bleeding tho, so hopefully it's healing...

I am having a really hard time with it being school holidays, and watching the kids! My partner works long hours, and 6 days a week. So I'm pretty much trying to get the kids to fend for themselves a lot. That and a lot of tv. I do have my sister in law and mum in law to help, but not all the time as they are very busy. Only one or twice a week. My house is sooo messy and the kids are so bored. It's driving me nuts!  :( I feel bad for the kids too, that I'm not doing a lot with them. I haven't actually told them about the pregnancy yet. I've been too worried that things might go wrong. I've just told them that I have a cyst that's causing problems. I'm not really sure when to tell them.

I hope you find a sitter soon. It's so frustrating not having much help, especially with kids to look after.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: EnglishRose23 on January 12, 2018 at 02:02 PM
We are close! Right now my due date is August 20th, but I was measuring a couple of days ahead on my last scan so wouldn't be surprised if they moved me to the 18th or 19th at my next scan.

That's so frustrating to have had your scan and not found out all the results! I don't think I've ever had an ultrasound where the dr appointment wasn't immediately afterwards. Is your OB keeping you on or sending you off to an MFM?

We told our 3 yr old right at 5 weeks since he knew we were trying, a miscarriage would probably be a little abstract for him at this age, but he is very excited to become a big brother and knowing why I'm resting is definitely helping him be more empathetic about it and behave better.

Still no luck with getting a sitter, but at least I'm back to light activity right now since my bleed has stopped, I'm due another bleed pretty soon though, dreading it. Our house has gotten really messy too, my hubby is trying his best to juggle everything but household chores are definitely taking a backseat. Tempted to hire a cleaning service but it seems like a luxury we can't afford. With my last bedridden pregnancy I was still able to work from bed and get paid, even in the hospital; this time round since I'm a SAHM I'm realizing that I'm going to need to pay a bunch of people to take over my usual workload of childcare, cooking and chores!
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on January 12, 2018 at 08:48 PM
How cool that we are only a few days apart! Crazy lol. :)

I live in Australia so maybe we do things differently here? What's a MFM? I have only had one follow up appointment straight after my scan, and that was when I had been in the hospital emergency department. Other than that, I've always had to wait at least a day or two for results. Which is so frustrating! But I thought I would have at least been told more at the scan, than I was.

I've been referred to the early pregnancy unit, through the hospital. They deal with the more complicated pregnancies, that have issues before 12 weeks. I don't know what they are doing after 12 weeks tho. I am assuming that they are going to refer me to a specialist OB through the hospital, but I am not sure... With my now two year old I had to see a specialist at the hospital and also had midwife appointments in between. So I am assuming it will be similar.. I'm not really sure tho.

That's great that your 3 year old is excited about your baby! So cute. And that makes sense about him behaving better cos he knows why you are resting. I am not sure that my two year old would quite understand yet. But my older kids would. I'm just worried that if something went wrong they would get so upset. And I don't know if I can deal with that! I guess I should just bite the bullet and tell them.

That's great that you are back to light activity now. It's nice to be able to do some things, even if it isn't a lot. I hope you don't have another bleed soon. They are really scary! I am hoping that I will get put on light activity soon, as I haven't had any more bleeding.

That sucks that you haven't been able to find a sitter. And yep, I would love to hire a regular cleaner too, but we can't really afford it, either. I think we don't realise how much we actually do around the house, until we can't do it, and the house falls apart! I have been getting the kids to help out with the small things that they can do, but nothing is done quite properly, lol. They try tho lol. It's school holidays for them here and I feel like half of their holiday has been taken up by helping out and watching tv. :( Normally, I plan a lot of fun activities, like going to the beach and out for icecreams, movies etc. So I feel a bit like a bad mum. :( School goes back in a week though, so it should be easier for me with them at school. And at least they won't be bored there lol. And my partners idea of "cooking" tea is to buy takeaway. So everyone has been existing on too much red rooster, KFC and tv! The kids think the takeaway is great lol but I love to do healthier meals. Oh well, lol. It will be worth it in the end. Just have to focus on the end goal, I think, even tho things are a bit hard right now. :)
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on January 15, 2018 at 07:02 AM
So, I had my appointment today with the specialist. He said that my second scan looked ok, and that the cyst has resolved from what they can see. He was really positive, and has put me on light duties (yay) instead of bedrest. Bub is growing well so that's good. And I will be having weekly appointments with my dr, and another scan in two weeks time to check on things.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on January 15, 2018 at 10:27 PM
So, after doing the smallest of tasks this morning (dishes, putting the slow cooker on, making sushi), I have lots of strong cramping again and a small amount of spotting. :( This is sooo stressful! So now, I am back to bed rest again! I am so worried that something is gonna go wrong, or that I am going to be stuck on bed rest for the rest of this pregnancy. 
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: EnglishRose23 on January 16, 2018 at 11:52 AM
happy for you that your scan looked good! sucks that you are back on bedrest again for cramping and bleeding again...spotting is sill considered "normal" during the first trimester, but the cramping sounds scary. I've finally been having less cramping so I'm hoping things are settling down on my end. My next scan is tomorrow, and it had better be good because my three year old is going to have to come with me for it.

Was neat reading your last post and realizing this is summer for you, we live in upstate NY so are buried in snow and the beaches are just for ice fishing right now! A better time of year to be stuck in bed for me I guess.

Over here an MFM stands for maternal-fetal-medicine, they are basically high-risk OB's. I guess we get faster care here with the same-day appointments, but it is so not worth it for the cost. We have what's considered "good" insurance coverage, but between a high-risk pregnancy and probably a long NICU stay we'll be paying off medical debts for years after this.

How is morning sickness and other normal sufferings of pregnancy going for you? I got wiped out with the flu last week which was so much worse with morning sickness. Definitely more tired with this one than my others too. On a happy note my pregnant belly bump has arrived! I'm less impressed that I'm making milk already, it's silly but it feels like a bad omen that my body is getting things ready early.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on January 16, 2018 at 10:30 PM
Thanks :) Yeah, It was a big relief to see bub doing ok and everything looking good. I'm hoping my cramping settles down soon tho cos it's a lot of it. It's worrying me a bit. I know the spotting can be normal but because I am having the cramping it's just put me on edge a bit.

I hope your scan goes really well. And it's not too full  on with your 3 year old  going along. Lol. :) That's good you have had less cramping too. Sounds like a good sign, that things are going well for you.

Oh wow! That sounds really cold! Sounds really nice tho. I am from Qld, Australia, and I've only ever seen the snow once, when I went for a holiday. It was awesome! Lol We don't ever get snow where I live, or even much of a proper winter. It doesn't really get cold at all. 

Ah yep. Sounds like you have a totally different system of health care to us. We can get public health care for free, or we can get private care and pay full cost if we don't have health insurance, or a gap fee if we do, which isn't usually that much. I have to use a bit of both, as the only hospital here for giving birth at is public. It is really well equipped tho and for the most part is pretty good. But for some of my appointments and scans I have chosen to go private as I can get seen sooner.

Oh no! Sorry to hear that you had the flu lately. I hope you are feeling better now? I haven't been too bad with all the normal pregnancy things. Just very tired and a lot of nausea. I sleep a full 12 hours at  night usually, and then still feel like I need a nap  for a few hours during the day as well! I was having bad morning sickness till a week or so ago, and it seems to have lessened a little. That's cool you have a belly already! I have a slight bump but I don't know if it's noticeable to anyone else.  I'm sure that making milk this early just means bub is doing well and your body knows what to do :)
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: EnglishRose23 on January 19, 2018 at 10:09 PM
So good news for us all round, we are all clear of the flu finally, and my scan on Wednesday showed healthy growth and healthy heartbeat for baby, and only an insignificant amount of bleeding. Dr did think it was a little odd I was making milk but didn't seem too concerned. They are officially done with my care locally and sending me off to the high-risk ob (mfm) for my next scan in two weeks to figure out a plan for managing this pregnancy.

How on earth are you managing to get 12 hrs at night with kids in the house?! I envy you so much for this, my 3 year old is still up 3 or 4 times in the night which means I'm up too since my well-meaning husband sleeps like a log. (Our son had significant sleep issues as a baby, we didn't make it beyond 30 mins stretches at night until he was 18mths old so this broken sleep still feels pretty good to me lol). Hope your cramping and bleeding has settled down. I'm feeling guilty for taking my son on a snowy two mile hike today since the weather finally warmed up to 20'F and I was dying to get some fresh air. Doesn't seem to have caused any problems at least but I'm still kicking myself for pushing my body even a little bit. and yeah most women wouldn't have visible bumps yet, but I'm short with a narrow pelvis so it has nowhere to hide!

Pregnancy is beginning to feel more real now. With my track record on preterm deliveries I'm realizing we are probably already a third of the way there. Feeling something in between happy and terrified!
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on January 21, 2018 at 07:26 PM
Cool! That's fantastic news for you! I'm so glad things are going well for you  :D 

Hope you get some better sleep soon. :) My  2 year old only started sleeping through the night 6 months ago, but now her sleep is great! Thank goodness lol. She used to wake all the time. Also, I think I am just so exhausted, that I don't wake easily, so my partner hears the kids if they wake, and sorts them out.

Today is first day back at school for my eldest ones, and they woke me up at 5am all dressed and ready! Haha. At least they are enthusiastic!

That hike sounds lovely. I'm glad it didn't cause any issues. It would have been really good to get some fresh air.

Yeah that's true! It is exciting that a good portion of pregnancy is behind us now. My cramping has settled down and I haven't had any more bleeding the last few days, so I am feeling much more positive!  I've started buying a few baby things online, to prepare. No big items yet as I will leave them till later on, probably after 24 weeks. But I've just bought some unisex outfits and blankets. I've also just started to get a bit more of a bump the last few days, which is exciting.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on March 09, 2018 at 05:59 PM
So, today I am 17 weeks! Getting closer to viability! 😀 Had another scan yesterday and everything is going really well. Have been told 80% chance it's a boy but they couldn't confirm 100%. Having another scan in two weeks so should know for sure then. Cl is really good tho and bubs growth is on track.

Still looking like there is a strong possibility that bub has downs syndrome, based on my last 3 scans and bloods.  Just wish I knew 100%. But I love him or her either way.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: EnglishRose23 on March 09, 2018 at 06:20 PM
That's great news on the scan and cervical length, sounds like there is a very good chance you'll make it to viability if things are stable at this point. You'll find out on the downs for sure when baby is born, and if they are loved that is all that matters.

Is your next scan your anatomy/midpregnancy scan? Will be a relief to find out that he is otherwise healthy I'm sure. I'm a little nervous for mine since I guess they'll be looking extra close for heart defects since my son had a small hole in his heart.

Feeling kicks yet? I definitely have an active little girl in there. One of the most reassuring things about getting this far  :D
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on March 10, 2018 at 12:17 AM
Thanks. :) I am feeling very relieved. And very excited to meet my little bubba when he is ready to be born. I am feeling lots of little kicks, especially the last few days. It's so sweet! I love it when they are active. That's great your little girl is active as well. She must be doing well in there :)

Yep, it's my 20 week anatomy scan. I hope your little  girl doesn't have any heart problems, and your scan goes well. It's good they are keeping an eye out tho, so if there is they should be able to help. :) I am having an extra check on bubs heart as well, as they said if bub has downs syndrome, there is also a 50% chance of a heart defect too. I also had a hole in my heart at birth, which closed over after a year. None of my kids have been born with one tho. Hopefully all is fine tho for both of us. :) Let me know how yours goes?
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: littlemissamanda on March 13, 2018 at 04:27 PM
I'm gatecrashing your conversation! Hope you don't mind! EnglishRose and I have "met" and share the fact that we are both English expats! But I was excited to read that we three almost share a due date as well. I'm due August 19! Quick intro: I've been on BR since week 13, after my doc saw funneling and gave me an emergency cerclage. I live on an army base which stinks, because friends have to travel and get a pass to get on base and my family all live 3,000 miles away! I am a "Billy-no-mates" right now!

I'm excited to read that you both have been feeling kicks and movement. I haven't been feeling anything, but I am told (and hope) that is normal since I have no other children. My 20 week scan is in two weeks and cannot come soon enough!

Sending out good thoughts to you both! :)
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on March 15, 2018 at 08:40 PM
Hey! : :D Don't mind at all! How cool that we all have due dates so close! That's so awesome.

That sounds very isolating living on an Army base. Do you have any support where you are, while you are on bed rest? :) Being on bed rest is hard, let alone when friends are so far away.

How exciting about your upcoming scan! I can't wait for mine either! It's in 12 days. I'm counting down, haha! I am sure you will feel some kicks soon. It's so sweet :) I didn't feel much at all with my first pregnancy till around 19 or 20 weeks, I think. So I am sure you will feel them soon. The little kicks and movements are the one part of pregnancy I like! Lol.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on March 28, 2018 at 12:09 AM
So, it's been a while since I updated. I've had a lot going on, especially with issues with bub. :( My last scan showed mild swelling on his brain. I am very worried on what our outcome will be, especially since they can't really tell us what will happen. We are having high level scans to monitor and been referred to see a brain specialist. Also lost 2cm in cl. It was quite long before but now is only just 3cm. Which I think is still fairly good, but I lost 2cm in two weeks! So I am really worried because what if I keep losing cl at that rate??? So worried :(
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: EnglishRose23 on March 28, 2018 at 02:27 PM
That sounds terrifying, let me know how it goes with the specialist! 3cm is still good for length but I can definitely understand why you are worried about the decrease. Have they put you back on bedrest?

Hope this scare resolves well for you and baby. You'll be in my thoughts
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on March 30, 2018 at 04:12 AM
Thank you. I am ready worried. Had an appointment with my specialist who said the swelling is now not mild, it's moderate. :( And I have now been referred to a high level hospital 4 hours away that specialises in these sort of issues. Meant to get a call in the next day or two for when our appointment is. I'm so worried.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on March 30, 2018 at 04:24 AM
And no, they haven't put me on bed rest as they said they aren't worried at 3cm. It's just how fast it has shortened that has worried me. So I don't know whether to put myself back on it anyway or not...
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: OBmom on April 04, 2018 at 10:01 AM
Aw Jade that sounds super scary.
Do the doctors have any explanation for this? Are there any associated findings?
More important, how are you dealing with this? 3 cm of CL is still pretty good, I wouldn't go on bed rest just yet. Especially since you have a long trip to plan. Do you have company to go? Maybe not driving yourself should be an option.
Thinking of you and hoping for the best possible outcome.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on April 16, 2018 at 07:33 AM
The doctors are saying it could be because he may have downs syndrome. They aren't sure though.  They also thought it could be an infection causing it, but my torch test came back clear, so it wasn't an infection.  Then they said is that sometimes it just happens. The ultrasound hasn't shown a reason why. So really, we don't know. He also still has short femurs and a hypoplastic nasal bone, but other than that and the brain stuff, looks fine. He is also measuring on the smaller side, but nothing worrying.

Some days I feel optimistic, and other days I am really worried! We have been told if the swelling gets very severe, he may be born early so that they can place a shunt. Just to relieve pressure on his brain. I just wish I could fast forward the next few months until his birth, and everything would be fine. The not knowing is so stressful, and different drs have told me different potential outcomes for bub. One dr told me he may have cerebral palsy or seizures after birth from all the pressure :( Or be very developmentally delayed. Another dr has been more positive and said in many cases babies are fine.

My cl has shortened as well, to 2.8. They haven't seemed  concerned about it though. They are more worried about the brain condition.

My next ultrasound and mri is on the 3rd, and it feels forever away! The positive thing is tho, that I am 22+2 today. Getting closer to viability!! I feel like once I get to 24 weeks, I will be able to breathe a little!
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on April 16, 2018 at 07:48 AM
Oh and my partner is travelling with me for our appointments. :) With every going on, I need him there. A few friends have offered to come up with me too if I need them, or babysit my kids, which is nice of them and a massive help.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: EnglishRose23 on April 16, 2018 at 09:58 PM
Oh the not knowing must be so hard!! I hope your most optimistic dr ends up being right. Have they put you in touch with support groups and other resources in your community to help prepare you for coping with his Down's syndrome and other challenges? It can be so isolating having a sick child, really helps to get to know other parents in the same situation.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on April 16, 2018 at 11:19 PM
Yeah it is really hard. :(

 And no they haven't. I have had to research myself. I don't feel that I have received much help at all from my doctors in the way of support. I did join a  Facebook group for kids with T21, which has helpful information though, and is run by mums who have children with downs syndrome. It has been great! So informative and I have been getting to know a few of the mums through there. Seeing people with their kids who are doing well is so encouraging.

I also found a support group online for parents of kids with ventriculomegaly. It is encouraging to see the kids who have had good outcomes. It seems that more have positive outcomes than the drs project.
Title: Re: Pregnant again after early loss
Post by: Jadeandrainbowbub on April 16, 2018 at 11:20 PM
How are you doing English Rose and OB mum? Hope things are going ok on your ends :)