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Messages - AngelLily03

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What's Your Story? Tell us. / 1 Year Later
« on: November 07, 2012 at 12:32 PM »
Hi Ladies,

I am a 'graduate' of the boards here and I hope this is okay to post but I wanted to share my story and give back to this site.  1 Year ago today at 24.5 weeks I was put down on bedrest.  I had been contracting since 8 weeks and already been to L&D for contractions at 20 weeks.  That night we got a +FFN and found my cervix was shortening.  They kept me overnight to get everything calmed down, steroids started, and I went home on full bedrest and a neph regimend.  We were told that night that it would be a miracle if we made it to 28 weeks and/or stayed out of hospital bedrest.  In the weeks that followed I pretty much contracted constantly, made 13 more trips to L&D to stop the contactions, had my neph upped numerous times, but with those trips the weeks went by and we surpassed everything we 'weren't' supposed to make it too.  At 35 weeks to the day my body was done.  Bryce was born at 5lbs 14ozs at 9:01pm.  He was taken to the NICU where he spent the next 9 days before coming home.   But I have to say the second I held him in my arms it made the previous weeks worth it.

I know what you all are going through right now, I know the pain, frustration, stress, and lonliness that comes with this.  For those that have older kids I know how hard it is not to be able to be the mom you want to be and the guilt that comes from basically letting them watch TV and run rampid all day.  Know you are not alone and that there is a site full of amazing women here to help you.  There was no way I could have gotten through it without this board and have met some wonderful people thanks to it. 

Hang in there and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.  I had a little mantra I kept telling myself, I'm giving moments for him to have a lifetime.

A sincere thank you to Angela for having this site, I really couldn't have done it without it!

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: My little one is here at 38+3 weeks
« on: February 22, 2012 at 01:01 AM »

I had preterm labor with my new little one, and had a very similiar situation.  I carried super low and honestly felt like he was going to fall out the whole time and started contracting at 8 weeks.  I went in at 22 w with contractions and cramping, monitored and sent me home.  We were back at 25 with the same thing, this time they did the FFN that Angela mentioned and a cervical length.  Cervical length was 3.75 and FFN was positive.  As Angela said, a positive FFN is not a guarantee, if fact I had 2 positives before getting a negative at 29 weeks and another at 31.  I was put on full bedrest at 25.  We made an additional 14 trips to L&D to keep/get contractions back under control, I honestly contracted all the time, and when I hit 6 in an hour had to go in.  So NEVER feel bad about going in if something is off.  The good news, my cervix held on, despite all the contractions I did not start to dialate until 33 weeks.  Thanks to bedrest my cervix got up to 5 cm when we were checked at 34 weeks.  I made it to 35 w 1 d, when my body had finally had enough, I also had an insane amount of fluid, and my second came at 36 w 4 d (even before I went down my OB said 35/36 based on my other early delivery).  Feel free to email me, but yes the boards are amazing I wouldn't have made it thru without these amazing women.  Bryce is here now, and I'd do it again to get him.

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Planner by Nature
« on: February 21, 2012 at 03:14 PM »
My bedrest came out of the blue at 25 weeks, though my last pregnancy was tough this one was super super tough.  I contracted since 20 weeks with my second but started at 8 with this one.  Everything went downhill at 25 when they got out of control.  I made it 10.5 weeks on home bedrest and Bryce came at 35 w 1 d.  So hindsight being golden and if we'd know what was coming here's what I would have done (I'm super type a planner too).

Get a laptop.  DH got me one after I'd been down a week.  I was driving him insane with contantly calling and texting so he got me an early Christmas present and life got a lot better after than.  I used it for the boards, keeping in contact with the outside world, shopping, registering, to run my travel agent business (I"m a Disney Travel Specialist), and I got a old city building game I loved to play in high school and college (Zues: Master of Olympus and its expansion pack).  The game killed hours, I finished it 3 days before he came.

Get some super comfy pj's.

For me the most difficult was managing my older children I have a toddler and 4 year old.  They did amazing with everything and really allowed me to stay down.  We watched a lot of Disney Channel and Nick Jr.

Arrange for someone to come clean your house.  DH bless his heart did a man job of it and it needed a serious scrubbing when I was finally up again.

Learn to knit or something, that was just a no go with my kids but others have said it really helped them.

Get your hair done, seriously I was dying for that by the end.

Talk with your husband, make sure he knows how you like things done (ie the laundry).  Also that he knows what's coming.  I became super emotional over silly things, like having to pee 500 times.  Just how much work it was for him to work full time and then come home cook, clean, shop, and take care of you.

On that note know your FLMA requirements.  We had the paperwork ready should I have gotten to the point where he'd need to be here all the time.

Build a stockpile of food staples and easy meals.  While if I was in a bind I'd call for Pizza, having plenty of bottled water and snack bars were a must.  Having a small stockpile cuts down on his trips to the store.

Ask for and accept the help that is offered to you. 

Any big stuff you want a say in or see in person, do that now.  Decide on furniture and big stuff, you don't have to buy it now but know what you want when it is time.

Remember you are NOT alone in this, its okay to meltdown every now and then, its okay to go to L&D if something doesn't feel right (15 trips here to get contractions under control), the ladies here are amazing, you can ask and tell them anything I would not have made it without them.  Finally my mantra, we are giving weeks for them to have a lifetime.  Was it hard yes, but the second I got to hold him it was worth every single second. 

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Jalen Michael is here!! 36w 4 days
« on: February 16, 2012 at 03:46 PM »
Congrats!!!!  So happy for you and your family! 

Preterm Labor: Anything and Everything / Re: Baby wants to come early!?!
« on: February 13, 2012 at 11:09 AM »
Hang in there, we all know how hard this journey can be but also know worth it it will be.  With my first I ran around at a 5 without even knowing it for who knows how long.  With my 3rd I started contracting at 8 week with things getting out of control at 25 and I went onto home bedrest.  I was on neph but made 15 trips into L&D for shots of thry and fluids to get everything to stop.  We made it to 35.  Think positive and Kari is right, take it a day, hour, or minute at a time.  You are in the best place right now and they will take great care of you. 

So sorry for your loss.  How are you doing?  Yes, I"ve totally had the same issues with contractions and sometimes unresponsive L&D (totally depended on the Dr. that was there).  I started contracting at 8 weeks with my last one, and when all was said and done had to make 15 trips to get checked and keep things under control.  NEVER feel bad about going in, its thier job!  You know your body and how you are feeling.  Out of our 15 trips 13 took extra meds to stop.  The other two the darn things stopped on their own.  I didn't have any cervical change until about a week before I delivered after I lost my mucus plug.  We were put in bedrest at 25 when I got a positive fetal fibranectan and made it to 35.1.  Talk with your OB about how the hospital is treating your or call and talk with hospital administration...I did.  And if you don't get a response from the on call Dr, keep calling or call L&D. 

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: My story, new to site
« on: February 10, 2012 at 06:30 PM »
Welcome and hang in there.  I know how hard it is with kids already at home.  I was down for 10.5 weeks with my little man here with PTL.  I started contracting at 8 weeks and things started to get out of control at 25 when they put me down.  We made it to 35 and he was in the NICU for 9 days.  Good luck, thoughts and prayers are with you.

So sorry for your previous losses but congrats on making it this far!  I went onto bedrest at 25 weeks due to PTL with my little man (we made it to 35w 1d and he is happily snuggled against my chest right now), and honestly bought way more for him after I went down.  It gave me something to do to kill the time.  He is my third so we had a lot of what we needed and before I went down onto bedrest I was nuts with getting the big stuff we needed.  My husband playcated me and did it, but kept saying we had so much time.  Boy, we didn't know what was coming but somehow my body/brain did.  I'd say pick up some stuff, especially the basics, and maybe have a friend or family member hang on to it if your uncomfortable with it in the house.  I didn't look at it as tempting fate but if I had it, he was coming home...period.  Good Luck!

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Veralynn arrived 1.23.12
« on: February 06, 2012 at 12:05 AM »

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: NICU support group?
« on: February 01, 2012 at 12:31 PM »
Just wanted to update this.  I finally was able to call my ped last Friday...I just asked to talk with him about how to approach the Dr's about how everything was going.  The nurse had me fill her in on everything in and said he'd call me back.  By the time I went to the hospital for my visit that afternoon I still hadn't heard back and was determined to camp out until i saw the Dr.  He'd gained weight the last two nights but were still not wanting to move the temp down in his isolette...even when I got there the nurse said it would most likely be another day before they tried.  I was a little deflated and said to please have the Dr. come talk to me when he got a chance, I wanted to talk about why progress had stalled and not on Bryce's part.  She also said my ped called in for an update.

A half hour later the nurse came back and said we were going for broke and going for the crib to see how he did.  She asked if I still wanted to wait for the Dr., he was in a conference.  I decided not too since I got what I wanted.  Bryce came home the next day, had no problem at all with his temp in the nurse telling us she didnt' know why it hadn't bee done days ago.

So we were at our ped and he asked if things started to happen after he called on Friday.  He looked over Bryce's chart and informed the Dr. that he didn't see any reason that this baby shouldn't be home and what exactly was the hold up with everything.  Since he knew certain benchmarks had to be met it was time to try the crib, not to worry about inching the isolette down...I LOVE my ped.  He's been doing this for decades now and know he would never do anything that would hurt the baby.  He agreed it was a little of the focus thing and a little complacancy.  I aplogized for putting him in a position to have to question other Dr's, and I just wanted advice and justification that my intuition was right.  He said he'd treated the NICU Dr's kids and now grandkids and they'd been friends for years.  They'd even practiced together at another hospital in the area.  So lesson learned, get your ped involved early and often,  thanks for the adivce everyone!

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Bryce is home...Thank You All.
« on: January 29, 2012 at 01:03 AM »
2 hours ago we brought our preciousl little man home after 9 days in the NICU.  Thanks to the advice I got from you wonderful ladies things really started to happen yesterday.  I really need to thank everyone on this board, there is just no way we could have gotten thru the last 3 months without you.  For all you ladies still cooking, hang in there.  It is worth every moment once you hold that wonderful baby. 

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: NICU support group?
« on: January 26, 2012 at 10:35 PM »
I'm feeling a little better after our visit tonight.  For the first time in a few days DH and I were able to go in together and really talk.  The nurse said as long as he gains again at his weigh in they will try to wean again to the crib tomorrow.  His temp was night and high when I took it so just hoping and praying.  All the nurses keep commenting on how good he is doing, making the fact he is there so much harder.

His ped doesn't have privalges at this hospital (but wanted me to deliver there, he likes it better than the other one).  I was going to call him today but wasn't really able to talk coherantly and now that I'm feeling better will try again tomorrow.

Sadly I can't be there during rounds most days due to my sitter issues.  I may get lucky tomorrow as my sister is coming over and I'll be there during rounds.  When I have been there during rounds I get the "he's with more serious patients" talk and try to wait them out.  The nurse did hunt him down the other day for me.  Another indication that he wasn't getting the full attention of the Dr's was it took them a few days to up his required feeds, as soon as they did that he started to gain weight.  I plan on letting them know when I'll be there tomorrow and insisting that the Dr. come over to see me.  I know there are sicker babies there but I want mine home.  I guess I've just been too polite about all this.

DH and I did talk and he reminded me that he's working now so he can be home for the first few days Bryce is here, to help, ensure we get to appts, spend time with him, and make sure I rest.  I know all that but it doesn't make things any better.  Family is still a no go, but its all legitimate reasons from working to being down with a migrane (the cause of said migrane is what's infurating and out of my control).  I tried and failed to screen calls today resulting in a 2 hour lecture from my dad about taking care of myself and not fixating on tenths of a degree...he is not getting that's whats keeping him from coming home.  And after hanging up with me he called and lectured my husband.  I can count on one hand how many times he's seen me cry since Jr. High and never to the extent I was yesterday in the full on hysterics...and he didn't even see/hear it.  So I am trying to figure out how to say in the most loving way possible to back off and leave me be for a little bit.

When I see the Dr. tomorrow I will be more insistant about him coming home, the nurse gave us the going home speech a few hours ago and said she didn't see why he wouldn't be home by the end of the weekend.  She also pointed out we wouldn't even know about the temp issue at home (my whole point exactly).  I so desperately want this to be true but am hesitant to get me hopes up, I coudln't stand it to think he was coming home and have it not happen.  I understand and respect the hospitals policys but think we're getting to the point where this is silly.  If I'd just made it  more days they most likely wouldn't have even taken him up.  If they did for the grunting he would have been back down in a few hours (a grunting 37 weeker came in the other day while I was there and was back down with his mom in a couple of hours even though he set off the O2 saturation alarm a couple of times and his temp was a high 97).  Angela I'll check out that site and sjaz lets see how the next couple of days goes but I may take you up on it.

What's Your Story? Tell us. / NICU support group?
« on: January 26, 2012 at 04:12 PM »
I was hoping someone here could recommend a good support group for NICU or offer some advice..  We had our son last week 35w 1d after 10.5 weeks of bedrest for PTL.  Baby was taken right to the NICU due to hospital policy that any baby under 36 weeks has to go in.  It took 2 hours to get an IV in and he was a little grunty, but other than that he was great.  He's been making huge strides and at one point looked like he'd come home today. 

I'm just having a hard time coping with him being there, having to wait for someone to be available/willing to watch our other kids for me to see him, and feeling like he's not getting the attention he needs due to "the more serious babies in the unit" ( seriously straight from the nurses mouth, the Dr's don't spend as much time with him becuase of the more serious babies in the unit).  He is eating, and finally gaining, no respitory support, and looks incredible.  Only waiting on his temp and we've been stalled at 27.3 in the isolette for a few days now, they wont even try to move him to a crib til 27.  And now they won't try to move the isolette down until he gains more weight.  My kids are slow gainers.  I'm just so frustrated, I know if he were home or had come to us none of this would be an issue right now, but because he's there now they won't let him go.  I"ve seen a number of babies come in with the same issues he had and they are gone, and really feel he'd be fine at home.

Any suggestions on where to go or what to do?  I'm starting to resent friends and family for saying they would be there to help so I could be with him anytime and now bail at the last minute or are unavailble.  Husband just isn't understanding and I can't get him to take long lunches, go in late to work so I can see baby more.  He thinks one visit a day is fine and can't understand why I"m so upset about it (I usually manage 2 if I can get a sitter, today sucked it up and when to the 5:30 am so I could see him twice).  Family isn't getting it either and keeps lecturing me about taking it easy and not to be focused on the little things like his temp (you know the thing preventing him from coming home).

I would never do anything to endanger his heath and if he weren't in great shape, setting off alarms, loosing weight, or not eating what he needed too I wouldn't be worried about gettting him home.  The really pessimistic part of me is starting to wonder if its a money thing, the slower they go, they longer they keep him, and the more money they make.

Sorry for the rant but hope someone here can steer me the right direction.  I don't like feeling like this and its not fair to my kids or family.  And yes I have called my OB and they say this is all normal.

Making the Best of Bed Rest / Re: Feeling so sad
« on: January 24, 2012 at 09:23 PM »
I think we all have been where you are at one point or another in this journey.  People learned very quickly not to say "I would love to lay around all day" in front of me.  I would usually yell or cry...neither one a good result.  I know how hard it is not to go out, I just had my little guy at 35w 1d, after 10.5 weeks of bedrest.  I was downright giddy when I walked into the mall the other day.  But that being said EVERY second he stayed in there helped him grow bigger and stronger.  I don't regret a second of the bedrest, I don't regret a single one of our 15 trips to L&D, and every second of this journey was worth it on Friday morning when I held my precious baby boy for the first time.  I know the stuggle of not having the help you need, our family just not getting how much help we needed.  We repeatedly asked for help only to be told they were tired or had other plans.  So DH had to work and I was home with the kids, who bless their hearts were the biggest troopers thru all of this.  Hang in there, it will be worth it.  I've had a mantra that I kept telling myself over the past few months that I may or may not have shared with you.  We are giving weeks for them to gain a lifetime. 

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