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« on: November 07, 2011 at 01:23 PM »
So...I call myself the Mother Hen because that is what bed rest feels like. I am no longer a mother to my other two girls, i am not a wife, i am not a friend. I feel very lonely as I am now just a mother hen sitting (but actually laying) on my little eggs all day until they hatch. who thought bed rest would be so incredibly hard? Our identical twin girls were diagnosed with twin to twin transfusion synodrome at 16 weeks. They share one placenta. Essentially TTTS means that one twin was getting more blood flow and nutrients than the other. We were rushed from Atlanta to Miami to have a laser surgery which would give the babies a chance at survival. There are only a few doctors in the US who can perform this surgery. We were lucky to have such an excellent medical team. It is a miracle that our babies are now thriving and the TTTS seems to be cured. However I remain on strict bed rest due to cervical shortening. Last week it measured a 2.07. I am currently taking nfedipine and progesterone shots to hopefully help prevent early labor. I was already high risk before we even ound out it was twins because my first born was premature at 33 weeks. I can look back and say I can not believe that 9 weeks of bed rest has already gone by. I have filled my time with reading at least 5-10 books a week, lots of bravo tv including way too much trash like nj housewives, countless hours on pinterest and Facebook, reorganizing recipes, making picture albums on shutter fly, online Christmas shopping...but I am starting to really lose focus. Everyday seems to get harder instead of better. I don't know what it is...maybe because the holidays are approaching and I know I m going to have to lay here and miss so much with my 2 and 4 year old girls... parties, making cookies, wrapping gifts, pictures with Santa...etc. I know...it is all stuff that shouldn't matter in the big picture. Keeping these babies healthy and safe is the important thing. But I just can't help feeling a bit more depressed each day. At only 25 weeks, I still have a long way to go. I just don't know how I can bear it. I need to regain focus. I need some pep talks. That's why I joined this forum. I am hoping that by reading some of your stories i will not feel so alone. Positive thoughts! I need positive thoughts!