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What's Your Story? Tell us. / What to do next after 24 week loss
« on: January 18, 2018 at 07:15 PM »
Hi everyone, I’m hoping to gain some confidence or at least opinions from others to help the decision on where to go from here.
On October 25th at 23+5 I started having what I thought was a UTI. Backache and waves of urinary urgency. I’d been having pain in the left side of my rib cage for a couple of weeks so I saw an osteopath earlier that day. After that appt I found I had more lower back pain than normal.  Anyway, this “pee pressure” sensation started feeling crampy and despite pushing fluids and having a bath they were every 3-4 minutes for 35-45 seconds. Still thinking it was a UTI we went to triage. My urine and blood work were normal but the cramps were ramping up very quickly in intensity. A speculum exam showed bulging membranes and a digital exam showed I was 3-4cm and 70% effaced. I lost my mind at this news. This was pregnancy number 5 for my partner and I. After 2 early miscarriages, surgery on a septum, and 20 week induction to end a pregnancy with a baby boy with a genetic condition, an IVF cycle and a failed embryo transfer with our only healthy embryo, a 14 weeks D&E for another genetically affected baby boy (accidental pregnancy)... we had two more IVF cycles and 3 healthy embryos total from those 2 cycles. We transferred one and it worked!! So, when I was told I was in labour with that “miracle” I just couldn’t believe it. Anyway.... they threw all the medications at me - morphine, indomethasine, steroids for baby, an epidural, magnesium sulphate... labour stopped and I was about 5-7cm (by ultrasound, they didn’t want to do further ultrasounds). So for 24 more hours things were quiet. I got my second dose of steroids. Then my water broke. I spiked a high fever and went into crazy labour. Jonas was born 2 hours later. He was 1lb 12oz at 24+0 weeks. My placenta was retained and after 3 hours in the OR they finally gave me a general and did a manual removal. After I woke up my partner was by my bedside to tell me Jonas had suffered a severe bleed in his brain and wasn’t going to be ok. 8 hours after his birth we took him off life support. He died within an hour.
Now we’re faced with what to do next. The MFM has a hunch it was cervical incompetence because of watery vaginal discharge I’d been having that week, but has no way of knowing for sure. My 20week trans abdominal ultrasound showed a 4cm cervix. So could be IC that led to uterine infection and labour, something related to my septum/surgery, labour for unknown reason... nobody knows. Which means this could all happen again if we try again. We have 2 embryos waiting for us. I just don’t know if we should try with me or with a surrogate.
Sorry this is so long. It’s a long story.
Any and all opinions are welcome (unless they are about my pregnancy terminations. Please keep those to yourself. Hardest decisions of my life).

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