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Messages - EnglishRose23

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What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: My baby girl has arrived!
« on: January 16, 2018 at 10:14 PM »
Many congratulations on your happy news!!!

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Preterm birth and loss at 27+4
« on: January 16, 2018 at 10:13 PM »
Hi Wren,

Hugs to you <3 it sounds as though your loss still feels very raw. I've been there, I still am there. It's the sort of thing that can never leave you, but as more time passes you get better at living with it. Our daughter died in the NICU after being born at 24 wks 1 day. I compare the recovery to losing something like your sight or your legs in a horrific'll never get your sight back, you will live in the darkness the rest of your life, but after enough time has passed you get used to being blind, better at feeling your way around, your other senses becoming more attuned.

My preterm birth was more explainable than yours, my uterus had/has a big wall down the middle called a septum that is associated with high rates of miscarriage and preterm birth even though they don't understand why some women with my condition carry full-term and others are a walking disaster like me. I still questioned every single thing I did during that pregnancy, was it helping my dog onto the table at the vets, was it not keeping my allergies under control in the summer, would bedrest have helped?

I don't think my story is very reassuring, but my second child made it to 28 wks 6 days, and is a happy thriving preschooler. I am a better mother for my loss, you don't complain about the sleepless nights with an infant when you've experienced the alternative. I was sad and surprised you lost Oskar as a 27 weeker...the statistics for survival are usually pretty good by then, if you made it that far again I hope the odds treat you much better. The stress and the fear of pregnancy after a loss are so real though, when I was pregnant with my son I kept thinking to myself, should I buy the cemetery plot next to my daughters just-in-case? I knew I'd be mad at myself if I didn't and couldn't lay my children to rest next to each other. We almost lost him so many times. We didn't do a baby shower because I didn't want a house full of baby things if we didn't get to bring our child home.

If it helps I think you are the best possible candidate for the Makena shots helping you get to term. They still give it to women like me with previous preterm births, but it is less effective when there is an identified underlying cause like a septum or an IC. Did you receive magnesium with your labor? At my hospital they routinely give that to reduce the risk of brain bleeds in preemies. You would remember it if you had, makes you feel like you have the flu. If not maybe ask about it for next time.

It's good you are getting to talk to a therapist. I would too if I could afford it, I'm 9 weeks along (with complications) into another high-risk pregnancy and it's been triggering the PTSD flashbacks from my prior nightmare pregnancies.

Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and full-term baby <3

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Pregnant again after early loss
« on: January 16, 2018 at 11:52 AM »
happy for you that your scan looked good! sucks that you are back on bedrest again for cramping and bleeding again...spotting is sill considered "normal" during the first trimester, but the cramping sounds scary. I've finally been having less cramping so I'm hoping things are settling down on my end. My next scan is tomorrow, and it had better be good because my three year old is going to have to come with me for it.

Was neat reading your last post and realizing this is summer for you, we live in upstate NY so are buried in snow and the beaches are just for ice fishing right now! A better time of year to be stuck in bed for me I guess.

Over here an MFM stands for maternal-fetal-medicine, they are basically high-risk OB's. I guess we get faster care here with the same-day appointments, but it is so not worth it for the cost. We have what's considered "good" insurance coverage, but between a high-risk pregnancy and probably a long NICU stay we'll be paying off medical debts for years after this.

How is morning sickness and other normal sufferings of pregnancy going for you? I got wiped out with the flu last week which was so much worse with morning sickness. Definitely more tired with this one than my others too. On a happy note my pregnant belly bump has arrived! I'm less impressed that I'm making milk already, it's silly but it feels like a bad omen that my body is getting things ready early.

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Pregnant again after early loss
« on: January 12, 2018 at 02:02 PM »
We are close! Right now my due date is August 20th, but I was measuring a couple of days ahead on my last scan so wouldn't be surprised if they moved me to the 18th or 19th at my next scan.

That's so frustrating to have had your scan and not found out all the results! I don't think I've ever had an ultrasound where the dr appointment wasn't immediately afterwards. Is your OB keeping you on or sending you off to an MFM?

We told our 3 yr old right at 5 weeks since he knew we were trying, a miscarriage would probably be a little abstract for him at this age, but he is very excited to become a big brother and knowing why I'm resting is definitely helping him be more empathetic about it and behave better.

Still no luck with getting a sitter, but at least I'm back to light activity right now since my bleed has stopped, I'm due another bleed pretty soon though, dreading it. Our house has gotten really messy too, my hubby is trying his best to juggle everything but household chores are definitely taking a backseat. Tempted to hire a cleaning service but it seems like a luxury we can't afford. With my last bedridden pregnancy I was still able to work from bed and get paid, even in the hospital; this time round since I'm a SAHM I'm realizing that I'm going to need to pay a bunch of people to take over my usual workload of childcare, cooking and chores!

Making the Best of Bed Rest / Re: Monday Roll Call for January 8, 2018
« on: January 08, 2018 at 09:18 PM »
Still so early but we've made it to 8 weeks now  :D

Feeling beat up with the flu right now on top of morning sickness and pregnancy fatigue. Had my flu shot in the fall so hopeful it is a short and mild case of the flu so I can get on with things!

I'm usually vegan, but choosing to relax to vegetarianism while I'm pregnant. Food cravings have been getting me, so right now it's all about the pickles!!

No new bleeds this week :-)

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Pregnant again after early loss
« on: January 08, 2018 at 09:00 PM »
Just wanted to say hi since our due dates must be really close together (I'm 8 weeks along)! It sucks having complications this early because it just makes pregnancy so stressful. We are the same with our goals (although I have 22 weeks and 23 weeks marked on my calendar too, some hospitals will attempt to save the baby at 22 weeks, and most will do it at a parents request at 23 weeks). Do you have good help with your other children while you are stuck on bedrest? That's been hard for us to juggle already, I've had 5 sitters over for interviews so far and they have all turned down the position since the on again off again bed rest makes the hours so unpredictable. Let me know how your next ultrasound goes!

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Back for round 3
« on: January 06, 2018 at 01:49 PM »
so some good news and some bad news:

Good news: Baby was doing well on my 7 weeks scan, good heartbeat and growth, and no new bleeds so I'm back to light activity, just need to rest when the cramping gets really bad, next scan at 9 weeks.

Bad news: There will be blood. Dr said the lining on the uterus right of my septum is already building up again for another "cycle" and isn't onboard with the pregnancy yet (baby is on the left). So there will definitely be more bleeding before the end of my first trimester, just have to hope it doesn't harm the pregnancy when the contractions to get rid of that blood start up again. I'm also super worried that I'm pregnant on my left, since I carried both my children on my right side before which means I've just lost any hope from my uterus having been stretched out all the way to 28 weeks that it can get that far again (my non-pregnant half of the uterus doesn't really expand with pregnancy, just gets pushed off to one side). Who knows though, maybe left is my good side!!

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Back for round 3
« on: December 29, 2017 at 09:27 PM »
Thanks Angela :)

Just wanted to wish you luck and let you know that even if you were to deliver tonight your baby is going to be OK. By 32 weeks they call them "feeders and growers" in the NICU since all they really need to do to go home is get a little bigger and stronger. Hoping you still make it to term, I've no personal experience with cerclages but have seen a lot of success stories with them in this group.

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Back for round 3
« on: December 26, 2017 at 11:46 PM »
Here I am again!

This is pregnancy #5 for me.

#1 early miscarriage
#2 Heavy first trimester bleeding, PPROM at 21 weeks 6 days, vaginal birth at 24 weeks 1 day. Daughter Sophie lived almost 24 hours.
#3 early miscarriage
#4 First trimester bleeding, placenta previa from 12 weeks, cervical length scans (normal) and progesterone shots from 16 weeks, first round of preterm labor at 18 weeks 3 days, multiple rounds of heavy bleeding and preterm labor to follow, steroids at 24 weeks when they thought I'd deliver, ended up making it to 28 weeks 6 days and had an emergency c-section due to a placental abruption. Son Vincent initially spent 11 weeks in the NICU, he's had many trips back to the hospital since, but overall he is a happy thriving 3.5yr old.

#5 Crazily enough this is a planned pregnancy, I'm 6 weeks along now but it's not been going smoothly. Bad cramping from before I even had my first pregnancy test, gets much worse with even light activity. Sunday night I had my first bleed and it was a massive one, I was up all night changing pads and passing golf ball sized clots of blood in the toilet. It stopped as suddenly as it started, had an ultrasound today to confirm the miscarriage and baby was still in there, healthy and normal with a heartbeat. It was right at the 6 week mark I bled heavily with my other children, so apparently this is something I do. So now I'm on bedrest for the week, I'm sure there will be more to follow. I've lost track of how many weeks of bedrest and hospital bedrest I clocked up between Vincent and Sophie but it was A LOT. I have a uterine septum that I've had surgery to remove but some still remains, I'm being considered "high-risk" again and being seen by MFM once I've made it past my first trimester.

It's going to be a bumpy ride! I'm already finding bedrest so much harder than I did before, I stay home to care for my son so it's not something I can take a break from really. He's trying his best to help mom out so far though <3

Hi MonkeyGirl,

First of all congratulations on the birth of baby Finley, you did sooo great to get him this far...he went from having no hope to having a real fighting chance! Wishing you much strength for the difficult months ahead of you in the NICU. 24 weeks is such a tough gestation to be born at, with so many obstacles to overcome, but we recently participated in our local March of Dimes walk for babies, and the keynote speaker at that event was a 17 year old who was born at 24 weeks with lots of complications. He was now a strong, and healthy high school athlete and honor student.

My firstborn daughter Sophie was a 24 weeker, she lost her battle when her lungs failed at the end of her first day. Don't be disheartened though, good outcomes do happen all the time with the medical technology available. Vincent's NICU neighbor was a 24 weeker, and it was amazing to watch her go from fighting for her life to heading home with mom and dad.

My advice to you is take thousands of photo's and videos, because if things do take a turn for the worse they will be so important to you. I wish we had more pictures of our daughter.

Reading softly to your baby will help you keep sane during long days. Actively participate in his care, it can be daunting changing a diaper on a baby that small, but you can do it. Kangaroo care is amazing for mom and baby when he's ready to be held do it as much as you can. Pump in the NICU, I wasted precious time with my daughter trying to go back and forth for pumping sessions. Get the book "Preemies - second edition" the doctors will only tell you as much as they think you need to know. I felt like reading this every night help me be better prepared to ask relevant questions to Vincent's doctors and be an effective decision maker and participant in his care. Be a pain-in-the-ass. I definitely had a reputation with the doctors and nurses as being a demanding mama bear, but it can make a difference (I complained so much about his eye exams they ended up buying new less-invasive equipment for the ROP exams).

Sending you lots of hugs during this difficult time. Feel free to message me if you need to talk or have questions, I've collected a lot of hours in the NICU.

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: 19 weeks and "hanging by a thread"
« on: April 06, 2017 at 03:22 PM »
Hi monkey girl.

I also had an almost-complete septum resected, just wanted to give you some reassurance that my son is now three years old and healthy despite the fact that I was a frequent visitor in labor and delivery from 16 weeks! We made it to 28 weeks 6 days. The progesterone and bedrest really makes a difference (btw I also had the shots, if you don't like the suppositories then insist on the shots, don't forget you are in charge not the doctors). You must be past 20 weeks by now. If you can hang in there till 23 weeks you have hope. Depending on the hospital they won't automatically resuscitate at 23 weeks so you have to specifically request that all life saving measures be taken for a delivery once you have reached that milestone.

I'm not expecting right now, but I still visit the forum from time to time whenever I think it might be a good idea to have another baby and need reminded just how hard it is to have a high risk pregnancy and spend months on bedrest! Best of luck to you and your little boy. 

Making the Best of Bed Rest / Feedback on business idea please!
« on: June 22, 2016 at 04:18 PM »
Hi Everyone,

So I lurk here from time to time when I need an extra reminder of how hard bedrest and pregnancy is (we want more kids, but it would not be a good idea!)

Anyway, I'm currently a stay-home mama to my two year old son, and had been thinking of doing some childcare in my home to help make ends meet...but I was thinking maybe instead of being just another child care provider that I would specifically tailor my services to bedridden mothers. Below is a rough draft of what I was thinking of offering, I would love some input from this group on what services you would value most from a care provider. Thanks!

Resting Mama

Experiencing a high-risk pregnancy?
Doctor put you on bedrest?
Help is here!

My name is Shona Elliott, I am new to the Saratoga area and starting up my own business offering bespoke services to expectant moms who need some extra help.
As a two-time graduate of extended bedrest myself, I know how hard this time in your life is. You are not alone, and I can work with you to put together a package that meets your needs without breaking your budget.
Services Available Include:
Childcare at your place or mine
School pickups/drop offs
Grocery shopping
Errand running
Light Cleaning
Meal Preparation
Pet care
Emotional support (free!)
Nursery preparation (everything from décor to crib assembly)
24 hour emergency childcare when you go into labor
Post-partum assistance during your recovery
Extended hours available if your little one needs a NICU stay

All services include the extra assistance of my very enthusiastic two year old son Vincent. Our goal is to provide you with the full-spectrum of services you need so you can truly relax and stay off your feet; every single day you can keep your child in the womb is an incredible gift to them. Do not try to do this on your own!

What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: 22 Weeks pPROM
« on: June 09, 2016 at 02:29 PM »
I also PPROM'd at 21 weeks 6 days with my daughter. Made it to 24 weeks 1 day with no fluid left at all. It is a myth that when your waters break you will deliver within 72 hours, every body and every baby is different. Hang in there as long as you can. My daughter didn't make it out of the NICU, but she was a live birth, big and strong and hell of a fighter. Not all hospitals automatically resuscitate at 23 weeks so make sure you make it very clear if you get to that point that you want all measures taken not "comfort care"

Also push to keep up the antibiotics. That is one thing I wish I had done, since it was infection that caused the labor in the end.

Hi lolaspatch,

Your's really does sound like an unusual situation. I also PPROM'd  with my first child. It had nothing to do with my cervix or infection and I asked a lot of question about how can this really help when they put me on progesterone shots for my second since they know nothing about the reason I went so early; one of my MFM doctors said they believe the progesterone also helps strengthen the amniotic sac and in my experience I would say that is true. I was booming out contractions every single day from about 18 weeks with my second and made it all the way to 28 weeks. First time round my waters broke without any real heavy contractions at all. Don't know if this helps you feel any better, but know that the progesterone may help you in more ways than you realize, and every extra day in the womb counts!

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