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91
Making the Best of Bed Rest / Bedrest Venting
« Last post by SamRose on January 18, 2018 at 09:16 PM »
I've been on bedrest for 6 months now (24 weeks), by the time I get my cerclage out it will be just over 7 months (29 weeks). I've done pretty well keeping myself occupied and busy in my feet up position, but boy does the lack of activity make me restless.

Anyway my rant..... Does it annoy any of you when you mention something about the drawback of bedrest being a lack of activity and/or boredom or general restlessness from not using any of your copious amounts of stored up energy and the person you are talking to is like "well enjoy all that rest now... soon you will be longing to relax again! Har Har Har (or some version of this sentiment)?

On the outside I smile and choke down my irritation, but on the inside there are about a thousand sarcastic replies running through my head. (This might have something to do with the crazy hormones and mood swings as well as frustration I'm sure)

But seriously like any pregnant woman doesn't already know that newborns are exhausting, or if we didn't know it when we got pregnant there aren't countless books, articles, and well intentioned people who have been telling us this since the moment that egg was fertilized.

Since there is no bank I can deposit all this "relaxing" rest into and withdraw later when I desperately need it, these comments are at best tone deaf and unhelpful.

Of course I'm grateful that so far all this bedrest has been working and our little man is cooking away safe and sound.... the cerclage comes out in 4.5 weeks and all my restrictions will finally be lifted. I can hopefully enjoy a small window of normalcy before my due date of March 11th.

I'm not sure what I want to do first when I get my bed shackles off. High on the list right now is thoroughly cleaning my house to my satisfaction (my husband tries but he isn't nearly as neurotic (I prefer detail oriented) as I am, baking all of the treats (its my happy place) cooking dinners and extra dinners for freezing for post baby arrival, indulging in all of my nesting instincts, taking the dog for a walk and getting as much fresh air as I want, and of course I really miss sex with my husband.... I'm not sure how that one will work with my 37 week sized belly but where there is a will there is a way!!!!!

I just hope our little bean continues to cooperate and stays inside a bit longer for his optimal health and so his mommy can have a tiny taste of freedom and time to do a little baby prep work.

What about you ladies any things people say to you that drive you nuts or you've heard so many times it's hard to stop the eye roll? Anything you are looking forward to doing if you get a little window between bedrest and birth?

For those of you still in the early parts of bedrest... hang in there! I set small goals for myself so that it didn't seem so daunting. I started at 8 weeks and I'm now at 32+5! There were times when it didn't seem possible we would make it this far but our train kept chugging along and we can almost see the final station ahead.


92
What's Your Story? Tell us. / What to do next after 24 week loss
« Last post by Freshview on January 18, 2018 at 04:15 PM »
Hi everyone, I’m hoping to gain some confidence or at least opinions from others to help the decision on where to go from here.
On October 25th at 23+5 I started having what I thought was a UTI. Backache and waves of urinary urgency. I’d been having pain in the left side of my rib cage for a couple of weeks so I saw an osteopath earlier that day. After that appt I found I had more lower back pain than normal.  Anyway, this “pee pressure” sensation started feeling crampy and despite pushing fluids and having a bath they were every 3-4 minutes for 35-45 seconds. Still thinking it was a UTI we went to triage. My urine and blood work were normal but the cramps were ramping up very quickly in intensity. A speculum exam showed bulging membranes and a digital exam showed I was 3-4cm and 70% effaced. I lost my mind at this news. This was pregnancy number 5 for my partner and I. After 2 early miscarriages, surgery on a septum, and 20 week induction to end a pregnancy with a baby boy with a genetic condition, an IVF cycle and a failed embryo transfer with our only healthy embryo, a 14 weeks D&E for another genetically affected baby boy (accidental pregnancy)... we had two more IVF cycles and 3 healthy embryos total from those 2 cycles. We transferred one and it worked!! So, when I was told I was in labour with that “miracle” I just couldn’t believe it. Anyway.... they threw all the medications at me - morphine, indomethasine, steroids for baby, an epidural, magnesium sulphate... labour stopped and I was about 5-7cm (by ultrasound, they didn’t want to do further ultrasounds). So for 24 more hours things were quiet. I got my second dose of steroids. Then my water broke. I spiked a high fever and went into crazy labour. Jonas was born 2 hours later. He was 1lb 12oz at 24+0 weeks. My placenta was retained and after 3 hours in the OR they finally gave me a general and did a manual removal. After I woke up my partner was by my bedside to tell me Jonas had suffered a severe bleed in his brain and wasn’t going to be ok. 8 hours after his birth we took him off life support. He died within an hour.
Now we’re faced with what to do next. The MFM has a hunch it was cervical incompetence because of watery vaginal discharge I’d been having that week, but has no way of knowing for sure. My 20week trans abdominal ultrasound showed a 4cm cervix. So could be IC that led to uterine infection and labour, something related to my septum/surgery, labour for unknown reason... nobody knows. Which means this could all happen again if we try again. We have 2 embryos waiting for us. I just don’t know if we should try with me or with a surrogate.
Sorry this is so long. It’s a long story.
Any and all opinions are welcome (unless they are about my pregnancy terminations. Please keep those to yourself. Hardest decisions of my life).
93
Preterm Labor: Anything and Everything / Ditched the stitch...
« Last post by Jenessa on January 18, 2018 at 03:24 PM »
So i went in for my 35 week check up yesterday and i mentioned i was having quite a few braxton hicks so he did a cervix check. Well i was 2cm dialated so he cut it out with fear of it ripping out.Because i was already dialted even though my stitches were in and quite thin is that any indication that he will be here sooner then later or no.... He did book me in for anoher check nexrt week but he says if not we will have this baby ... not sure to really make of it
94
What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Preterm birth and loss at 27+4
« Last post by Freshview on January 18, 2018 at 02:54 PM »
I think you’re both incredibly brave. Thank you for sharing your stories. Not having answers is the most frustrating and paralyzingly thing.
I lost my son at 24+0 in October. He was our first successful IVF pregnancy. We have no real answers either. I had a small septum reduced in 2015. That was my only real risk factor.
Can I ask you both, what was it that made you able to suppress your fear and try again knowing it could all happen the same way. Wren, your description of taking Oskar off life support after his brain bleed mirrors my experience with Jonas exactly. He was 8 hours old. I also don’t know if I’d survive that again.
95
What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Preterm birth and loss at 27+4
« Last post by wren on January 17, 2018 at 07:30 PM »
Hi EnglishRose,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter but am glad to hear that your son is doing well.

I did receive Magnesium Sulphate to stop my labor and also received steroids to help my son's organs/brain develop faster and prevent bleeds.  Unfortunately, I delivered him about 4 hours after receiving steroids so they wouldn't have helped. A full dose is usually 2 days since it takes that long to get from the mother to the baby in utero. The NICU doctor at the autopsy told us that even 2 days of steroids would have resulted in a dramatically different outcome. I didn't however, know to go into triage until I had cramps. I had no symptoms of preterm labor until the morning of my son's birth.

I am on Makena for this pregnancy and have very different care. It still upsets me that despite a family history of unexplained preterm labor, I was considered low risk and not offered extra monitoring for my first son, but this time I will be monitored on a weekly basis. I hope it makes a difference.

Wishing you a healthy, gentle pregnancy.

96
What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Pregnant again after early loss
« Last post by Jadeandrainbowbub on January 16, 2018 at 10:30 PM »
Thanks :) Yeah, It was a big relief to see bub doing ok and everything looking good. I'm hoping my cramping settles down soon tho cos it's a lot of it. It's worrying me a bit. I know the spotting can be normal but because I am having the cramping it's just put me on edge a bit.

I hope your scan goes really well. And it's not too full  on with your 3 year old  going along. Lol. :) That's good you have had less cramping too. Sounds like a good sign, that things are going well for you.

Oh wow! That sounds really cold! Sounds really nice tho. I am from Qld, Australia, and I've only ever seen the snow once, when I went for a holiday. It was awesome! Lol We don't ever get snow where I live, or even much of a proper winter. It doesn't really get cold at all. 

Ah yep. Sounds like you have a totally different system of health care to us. We can get public health care for free, or we can get private care and pay full cost if we don't have health insurance, or a gap fee if we do, which isn't usually that much. I have to use a bit of both, as the only hospital here for giving birth at is public. It is really well equipped tho and for the most part is pretty good. But for some of my appointments and scans I have chosen to go private as I can get seen sooner.

Oh no! Sorry to hear that you had the flu lately. I hope you are feeling better now? I haven't been too bad with all the normal pregnancy things. Just very tired and a lot of nausea. I sleep a full 12 hours at  night usually, and then still feel like I need a nap  for a few hours during the day as well! I was having bad morning sickness till a week or so ago, and it seems to have lessened a little. That's cool you have a belly already! I have a slight bump but I don't know if it's noticeable to anyone else.  I'm sure that making milk this early just means bub is doing well and your body knows what to do :)
97
What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: My baby girl has arrived!
« Last post by EnglishRose23 on January 16, 2018 at 10:14 PM »
Many congratulations on your happy news!!!
98
What's Your Story? Tell us. / Re: Preterm birth and loss at 27+4
« Last post by EnglishRose23 on January 16, 2018 at 10:13 PM »
Hi Wren,

Hugs to you <3 it sounds as though your loss still feels very raw. I've been there, I still am there. It's the sort of thing that can never leave you, but as more time passes you get better at living with it. Our daughter died in the NICU after being born at 24 wks 1 day. I compare the recovery to losing something like your sight or your legs in a horrific accident...you'll never get your sight back, you will live in the darkness the rest of your life, but after enough time has passed you get used to being blind, better at feeling your way around, your other senses becoming more attuned.

My preterm birth was more explainable than yours, my uterus had/has a big wall down the middle called a septum that is associated with high rates of miscarriage and preterm birth even though they don't understand why some women with my condition carry full-term and others are a walking disaster like me. I still questioned every single thing I did during that pregnancy, was it helping my dog onto the table at the vets, was it not keeping my allergies under control in the summer, would bedrest have helped?

I don't think my story is very reassuring, but my second child made it to 28 wks 6 days, and is a happy thriving preschooler. I am a better mother for my loss, you don't complain about the sleepless nights with an infant when you've experienced the alternative. I was sad and surprised you lost Oskar as a 27 weeker...the statistics for survival are usually pretty good by then, if you made it that far again I hope the odds treat you much better. The stress and the fear of pregnancy after a loss are so real though, when I was pregnant with my son I kept thinking to myself, should I buy the cemetery plot next to my daughters just-in-case? I knew I'd be mad at myself if I didn't and couldn't lay my children to rest next to each other. We almost lost him so many times. We didn't do a baby shower because I didn't want a house full of baby things if we didn't get to bring our child home.

If it helps I think you are the best possible candidate for the Makena shots helping you get to term. They still give it to women like me with previous preterm births, but it is less effective when there is an identified underlying cause like a septum or an IC. Did you receive magnesium with your labor? At my hospital they routinely give that to reduce the risk of brain bleeds in preemies. You would remember it if you had, makes you feel like you have the flu. If not maybe ask about it for next time.

It's good you are getting to talk to a therapist. I would too if I could afford it, I'm 9 weeks along (with complications) into another high-risk pregnancy and it's been triggering the PTSD flashbacks from my prior nightmare pregnancies.

Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and full-term baby <3

99
Preterm Labor: Anything and Everything / Re: Unexplainable spontaneous preterm labor?
« Last post by wren on January 16, 2018 at 10:09 PM »
Angela,

Thank you for your kind response. I've done so much research on preterm labor, and haven't come across this test yet, but will bring it up with my doctor. I am currently 16 weeks pregnant with my second child, and it has been very stressful.

Thank you.
100
Preterm Labor: Anything and Everything / Re: Unexplainable spontaneous preterm labor?
« Last post by Angela on January 16, 2018 at 09:31 PM »
I am so very very sorry about the loss of your son. It must be painfully frustrating to not know the cause after all of those tests. In any case, there was nothing you could have done differently. 

With having a healthy pregnancy in the past, it seems like your chances of going to full term would be likely. One thought I had is that there is a blood test that can predict your risk of preterm birth with great accuracy. You have to take the test during your pregnancy, so you wouldn't be able to find out before getting pregnant. That could help you to know if preterm delivery in your recent pregnancy was an unusual occurrence. https://www.pretrm.com/

Again, I am terribly sorry for your loss. I'm saying a prayer for strength and healing. (((hugs)))
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