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Author Topic: Leola, 32 weeks and struggling with so many feelings  (Read 2412 times)


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Leola, 32 weeks and struggling with so many feelings
« on: April 14, 2009 at 10:36 PM »
(I've posted this on behalf of Leola. --Angela)

Hello fellow bed resters.
This is Leola from Detroit. I am almost 32 weeks and I am experiencing so many feelings right now that I am struggling to sort them out. So each week I settle on a different aspect of my life and this pregnancy and for an hour or so I talk with my therapist for the past seven weeks.
So far therapy has been a positive uplifting experience. I am a single mother of six including this baby and the survivor of many challenges. I am 39 years old and all I have ever done with most of my life is search for love in all places right and wrong. I have raised my children alone with no fathers support and chaos and confusion from abusive relationships. I carry so much guilt for what I have put my children through. I wish and pray and hope to someday never need the help of the state or welfare for any reason.
I have many talents. I am a self published author as well as a local comedian. Telling stories is all I am good at. I need help establishing my career. If any body knows a agent or promoter with legitimate credentials please let me know. I have so many dreams, I am determined to see them through. I want my children to proud of me and my accomplishments. I just want to do good things make good choices, share my story my triumphs as well as my failures. I was always told that I wasn't good enough for anything these words have stayed with me for so long I'm fighting for self esteem.
I just want other women who may feel what I feel to know that they are not alone. As well as I need to know that I am not alone because alone is a sad place to be when you are hurting. Prayer really does help me with this struggle. I just wish and pray to have good friends and acquaintances in my life because I have had my share of trash as well as my fill of fake friends and negative family members. That's all for now. Thanks for your time,
My message is keep your head up and believe that God has got things all under control.