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Author Topic: PPROM at 14+5.. on bed rest for eternity!  (Read 11936 times)

BrookeBeach

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PPROM at 14+5.. on bed rest for eternity!
« on: May 11, 2011 at 01:03 PM »
Hi all,

So glad that I found this group! My water broke (PPROM) at 14weeks and 5 days. It was followed by heavy bleeding. We were advised to terminate the pregnancy and try again in a few months. Considering the two main points that I was and still am infection free and the baby has a strong heart beat, we ignored their advice. After interviewing three different Maternal and Fetal Medicine specialists in our area, we decided to go with one.. the only one.. that gave us an ounce of hope and believed in our struggle and was willing to fight with us. My amniotic fluid levels have fluctuated in the last three weeks. They have gone from 7.7 to 4.4 with rising in the 5's a few times. I am scanned twice a week (Monday and Thursday) to check my levels. If my levels drop below a 2 our doctor wants to do an amnio infusion. I have reached out in different support groups for PPROM and no one I have spoken with has had this done for fear of the risks. Our doctor seems very confident in its ability to help me if I do drop below a 2. Our prayer is that it won't come to that and that I can maintain a steady level throughout the rest of the pregnancy.

Right now everyone keeps saying we need to make it to 24 weeks as that is the first time that the baby is viable outside of me. We count the days, weeks and sometimes the hours. The days in between doctors appointments seem to drag the slowest. They have said that they will not let me carry past 34 weeks because of the risk of infection past that point. Our goal, of course, is 34 weeks. However, our immediate goal is 24 weeks. And honestly, more so than that my personal goal is to get past 21 weeks. If for some reason this ends poorly for us then I want and need the validation of it being a still born and not just a miscarriage. I am not trying to discredit anyone in the past that has had a miscarriage. It is just that when you say you had a miscarriage people tend to lump you into the same group with those who had chemical pregnancies or lost babies between 6 and 8 weeks. To me, this is different. We have had so many ultrasounds at this point that we have watched our little one develop. We know that it is a girl, we have seen her have hiccups, suck her thumb, and I have felt her kick. No longer are we talking about a ball of cells but it is a living, kicking, sucking, alive being. I hope that statement doesn't offend anyone because it certainly isn't intended to. I just need the validation for my own sanity that it would be considered more than a miscarriage at this point.

We are faithful in prayer and hopeful that our God will grant us a positive outcome. However, we do know that if it doesn't end in a positive way that was God's will and plan for our lives.. as difficult as that would be to imagine. Our prayer is for an increase or steady fluid level.

Thank you ladies for letting me vent to you. Everything in pregnancy is so difficult, I am quickly learning.

Brooke
17 weeks and 4 days

Angela

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Re: PPROM at 14+5.. on bed rest for eternity!
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2011 at 10:51 PM »
Hi, Brooke!
Welcome! How did your scan go today? I'm sending positives thoughts and prayers your way that your fluid levels will continue to remain stable or even increase.

I admire your strength and courage in fighting for your baby. Regardless of the outcome, you are already a mother--a wonderful mother. And, you can feel absolutely confident that you're doing all you can to give your baby the best chance. And yes, absolutely, this is your baby. My husband and I saw our son three times on ultrasound before he passed at around 17 weeks. 10 fingers, 10 toes, wonderfully chubby little cheeks. Amazingly, his twin brother survived. It was a difficult pregnancy, but we made it through. My point is, miracles happen. We see it here every day. With hope and positivity and education and caring, miracles happen.

I know these days are long. All of us here can relate to that completely. In time, you'll settle into a routine, and it'll be easier.

Please keep us posted any time! We have a Roll Call on Mondays here on the forum, and a live chat on Tuesdays at 2 in the Chat Room (see the link in the menu above). Also, I post an Idea of the Day each weekday here: http://www.keepemcookin.com/bedrest.aspx

I hope these things will help you pass the time. Don't hesitate to ask anyone for any support you need. Most hospitals have social workers on staff, so don't hesitate to request a meeting with one.
(((hugs)))
Angela


HeatherGayle

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Re: PPROM at 14+5.. on bed rest for eternity!
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2011 at 11:23 PM »
Brooke,

You are one tough cookie! I am wowed by your story and commend you for being so firm in your faith.

I haven't been in your shoes, so I don't really know what to say, except encourage you to keep believing. I've found that doctors can be really pessimistic, and lack faith in a higher power to intervene. I guess it's their training? Anyway, my dr told me we'd be laughing if we got to 32 weeks, and i firmly believe that I'll make it further, despite what they say.

Like Dory from Finding Nemo says, Just keep swimming! I'll pray for you! 8)

BrookeBeach

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Re: PPROM at 14+5.. on bed rest for eternity!
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2011 at 12:27 AM »
Thank you both for your words of hope and encouragement. We are so grateful to anyone and everyone that can lift our precious little one up in prayer. I am amazed at the strength you have both showed. What a blessing you are for your little ones! Also, thank you for your suggestions on how to stay involved and updated. I plan to take full advantage as the weeks, days, hours, minutes and even seconds pass.

Our scan today showed fluid levels at 4.9 - dropped a little but thankfully we were still away from the danger zone of needing the amnio infusion. Our doctor seemed encouraged today by the baby's movements and kicks which was uplifting to hear. Also, the doctor said it is a boy this time! Ha - I guess our little one, as strong as he/she is in there, is trying to keep mommy and daddy guessing until the end. Either way we would be thrilled. At this point we just want a healthy baby.

I am confident that God knows the desires of my heart, to carry this baby to a safe point and have he or she be healthy. I remind myself daily that we aren't always granted the desires of our heart and that is for a particular reason. I know that sounds nice and strong but I feel so weak at times. It is like I tell myself one thing with one part of my brain but I want to fight back with the other part. I want to shout that I have to have this baby - it just HAS to happen. But who says? I am a teacher, so by nature I think I can tend to be a little controlling in certain situations. I want to be in control of this. I want this to go my way. But that other part of my brain speaks up and tells me that it isn't up to me and it is out of my control.

I am reminded daily of something we learned years ago in Sunday School: Let go and Let God. If I wasn't pregnant and wasn't against tattooing my own body I would have that tattooed across my forehead so that I would see it each time I look into the mirror. I do believe in miracles and I do believe that it is a miracle we have had our precious little one safe inside for 21 days now since our rupture. I pray for more time, days, hours, minutes and even seconds. Each one counts and matters.

Again, thank you for your support and words of encouragement. I pray that I can write to you on Saturday to let you know we made it safely to 18 weeks..

Brooke

mckoygirl

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Re: PPROM at 14+5.. on bed rest for eternity!
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2011 at 06:21 PM »
Brooke- I'm just now reading your story, and deeply hurt for you. I know how trying it must be to find the faith it takes to look into the doctors' and nurses' eyes and say "My God's bigger". I've been on both sides of the fence, on the patient's side, and on the nurses' side. I have had patients beg and plead for a miracle, and I've told them all they can do is pray. We are told as health care providers to be very realistic with our patients, but faith is not realistic. Faith requires belief in the impossible or unseen, which is against medical science and possibilities.

You're right in that there is a difference between a "miscarriage" and a stillborn. Both are traumatic and are grievous to the parents, but there is something about seeing, feeling, and hearing your baby and then losing it. I've had multiple first trimester losses and as painful as they were, this pregnancy was much more agonizing when I thought I was going to lose them at 17 weeks.

I will tell you this... I've seen miracles happen... miracles we can't explain. I've seen a women rupture at 18 weeks and make it to 37 weeks before she delivered, with absolutely NO complications. The advice she was given was the same as you. But she refused to abort and carried the pregnancy valiantly.

One of the hardest things I had to come to grips with was that this was out of my control. For weeks I sobbed at all hours of the day and night, picturing my little ones dying in my arms and begging God for a different outcome. My husband would hold me and tell me: "It's out of our hands Honey. It's in God's hands". Funny thing was I didn't want to let go of the control! I wanted to think I could do something because what if God sees fit to take them? Would I be able to forgive Him and be willing to if it was His will? I struggled with that so badly. What if it was part of a plan for His glory? I don't believe God purposefully causes bad things to happen, but sometimes He doesn't interfere for reasons which are His own. It's normal to feel weak. We still live in fleshly bodies and struggle with our own desires. Not too many people can be like Abraham and be willing to sacrifice their own son/child.  :-\

I never thought I would make it this far. 15 weeks later I'm 32 weeks, 3 days & still carrying my twins. Each day I'm more excited to meet them and see what God has in store.

Your physician being willing to perform amnioinfusions if necessary this early is a good thing in my opinion. I don't think a single physician I work with would be willing to do that. It at least gives you some hope of intervention if the fluid continues to decline. I would want everything possible done, including that.

Hang in there and keep praying... ;)

Due date: 7/7/2011
Twins (we're not finding out the sexes!)
5th pregnancy (5yrs old-put on bedrest with her @ 35wks for PIH)
3 previous losses
Put on bedrest this pregnancy @ 17weeks for Cervical shortening & preterm labor
Thanking God for each day I'm given with my twins!

BrookeBeach

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Re: PPROM at 14+5.. on bed rest for eternity!
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2011 at 03:15 PM »
Just thought I would stop by and give an update. It has been a long month but I am now 20 weeks and 6 days into my pregnancy. It has been exactly 6 weeks and 1 day since I first experienced PPROM. I am still being checked twice a week for fluid levels and they seem to fluctuate quite a bit. They have dropped all the way down to 1.9 at one point and then gone back to a 3.7. Today's measurement was a 3.2 though - I would love to see it higher!

We are still praying with our fingers crossed that we can make it to 24 weeks so that I am a candidate for the steroid shot to help expedite lung development. We are taking things day by day still and some days seem like an eternity. I have taken to reading a lot in the last week or so and it has helped pass a lot of time.

Anyway, thank you all for the prayers - they are very much appreciated and wanted :)


hootiefan71

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Re: PPROM at 14+5.. on bed rest for eternity!
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2011 at 11:17 PM »
Brook~

I just want to take a moment to encourage you and tell you to keep the faith. My son Derek is here and in my eyes is a living miracle. My membranes ruptured at 16 weeks and I too was told the best thing would be to terminate the pregnancy in spite of a STRONG fetal heartbeat. I refused to give up on my baby. My OB was behind me although the perinatologist was most assuredly not. Long story short, Derek was born at 28 weeks 6 days weighing 1lb 11oz. He stayed in the NICU for 9 weeks but now is home and at 6 months old is a thriving 11 lbs. He has a hernia they are watching and needed oxygen for about a month after he came home. Other than that he seems to be perfectly healthy and is a happy, joyful little boy. He seems to be meeting all of his milestones for his adjusted age and I am blessed every day I have with him.

Please keep up posted and if you want to talk you can e-mail me at sincitylover54@gmailcom.

Stacy
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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" Dr. Seuss

Mom of 5 including 28 week 6 day son (PROM) now 6 months old

lolasmom

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Re: PPROM at 14+5.. on bed rest for eternity!
« Reply #7 on: June 08, 2011 at 09:36 AM »
Hi Brooke-

I just wanted to tell you that I think it's awesome that you are fighting for your baby. On March 30, 2011 my water broke unexpectedly. I had no cramps and no bleeding. I was 20 weeks and 2 days when this happend. I went straight to the ER and they checked my baby girl (Lola) and she had a strong heartbeat but all of her fluid was gone. My OB and perinatologist told me that there was nothing that I could do. Because all of the fluid was gone and because I am was only 20 weeks and 2 days-she would not make it. She was not viable until 24 weeks. So I listened to my docs and I went ahead and let them induce me. My Lola came out stillborn. She was the most beautiful thing that I have ever layed eyes on! I miss her everyday. I still beat myself up for not fighting for her, but I felt like my doctors knew best. Please keep fighting and keep us informed of your status! I will keep you and your little one in my prayers. I am fighting with you!!!!!
Kirstin Lola (Angel baby-3.31.2011) due to pPROM at 20 weeks and 2 days. FOREVER LOVED!!!!