Stuck in BedStuck in Bed

Author Topic: Slap in the face =(  (Read 3119 times)


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Slap in the face =(
« on: April 14, 2012 at 01:48 PM »
My husband was just here with my two babies and this was the only thing I could think of that would distract me well enough even though all I'm doing is typing about what I'm trying to distract myself from!

My husband was here for the first time when the doctor came in to check on my... Of course he had to ask how long I'll be here since I always seem to brush off the question and say "I don't know," when I really do know and just hate talking about it. It was like a slap in the face when the doc was like "Oh about another 4 and a half weeks." Yesterday was two consecutive weeks and the third total week =( I'm not such an emotion wreck as I was the first week but everyday I struggle to stay positive. Then I read all these articles about how most doctors don't even believe that bedrest works! I truly believe it does between my own situation and all of your stories, but still it seems so discouraging! Like, why am I even staying in the HOSPITAL if you don't think this is EFFECTIVE!?!?

I know being 5 cm dilated is cause for rest and why I shouldn't go home but it's terrible sometimes. Tomorrow will be better though, life will go on and I will break free of this hospital someday... I'll just try and keep reminding myself...  :-\
Child #1: Born at 35 weeks, heatlhy
Child #2: Born at 34 weeks, healthy
Child #3: Short Cervix at 21 weeks, strict bedrest for 3 months, 7 weeks of which were hospitalized, dilated to 5 at 28 weeks, baby born at 37 weeks and perfect =)


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Re: Slap in the face =(
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2012 at 03:36 PM »
Oh sweety sweety, I am so sorry you're dealing with all this frustration  :'(
I feel ya sister. I'm sure all of us wished we could just come over and give you a good calf rub to cheer you up!
When i'm feeling cruddy I get a magazine and cut all the nice pictures out of it and then paste them into a notebook just for some eye candy and to keep myself busy. If you can sit up and have a magazine try that?
You can do this, you're such a strong momma for this precious baby. Look how far you've come!
Previous 29 weeker. On bedrest starting 24wk w/ #2.


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Re: Slap in the face =(
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2012 at 02:29 AM »
My doc explained it to me like this ...Bed Rest is not something doctors do lightly, the possible benefit has to out weigh the risk, and we ladies on bed rest are at all sorts of elevated risk, but the chance that our immobilization might save our babies,when they have done everything else,  it's all they've got left. They want us to have every opportunity to have a favorable outcome.
It can be hurtful when they say it isn't "proven" but I know in my heart that the 14 weeks I spent on bed rest got my baby girl here term and healthy. The day they admitted me ( I was 23 weeks 5 days, dilated to a 2, 75% effaced and funneling) the NICU came by and told me about Comfort Care. That is where they let you hold your baby as they expire. I didn't take a step out of that bed that wasn't ok'd by my doctor. 10 weeks in the hospital was hell, but I have a beautiful 5 year old to kiss every day to show for it. Our 3rd baby didn't let us wit it out in bed, he came after 1 week in hospital and I watched him struggle for every breath. He had tubes coming out of every place imaginable and I'd give anything to have taken his pain away. It was all over quicker, we were home in 21 days, but it was 10 times harder than bed rest. You are doing the right thing, it is torture somedays, especially the separation from your family, but there is an end to it and I promise when this little baby is 2 and throwing a tantrum in the grocery store, it just won't be that big of a deal. It will be hard to make up for lost time with your little ones when you and baby come home, but it will be normal again, just a new normal. Hang in there, I'm proud you have made it so far.
Mother of 4
#1 2004 full term
#2 2006 born at 37 weeks 1 day after 14 weeks of bed rest due to IC
#3 2009 born at 31 weeks 1 day PROM at 30 weeks with cerclage
#4 2012 born at 36 weeks  2 days IC, cerclage, p17


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Re: Slap in the face =(
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2012 at 03:12 AM »
Hi Mommaof3, I so feel for you. It is so difficult being in hospital when you have small children at home. You need to focus on each hour and each day as it comes.
I was hospitalised at 19 weeks 5 days with my 5th child. I wasn't expected to last 2 weeks. I made it to 34! It was so so so hard! I was separated by 150 kilometres from my family so weekly visits was all I had with my kids.
One thing made it easier and this may sound so weird, I woke each day and gave thanks that I was still in that hospital. I was thankful that I woke and my baby was in my tummy for one more day. Starting the day thankful was a great positive way to start the day.
I missed so much of my kids life while in hospital especially my 2 year old as they grow and change so quickly at that age. But I knew, just as it still happens now as they get older, that every now and then one child will need a little more of my time and attention than the others and right now that bub in your tummy needs yours.
I also found after about 4 weeks the turmoil settled and the new situation became a reluctantly accepted norm not just for me but the family as well.
As Mcentire said doctors don't put mums in hospital unless they have a good reason and all they want is the best outcome for you and baby.

Keep up the good (But hard) work you're doing so well!
I hope this helps :)