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Author Topic: Preterm labor at 21 weeks and now making funeral arrangements..Need Hope!  (Read 2804 times)

Jewels139

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I tend to think my story is not normal but I guess that why most of us are here.

My name is Julie and I have a hell of a story for you.  We got pregnant through an experimental study in January.  The study is IVF but has to do with freezing the eggs first after retrieval.  Anyway, My husbands mother was dying of cancer during all of this.  Her funeral was set on the day he was to go down and give his sample.  We postponed one day to attend the funeral.  That weekend we got pregnant with our miracle baby after transfer.  We felt it was her blessing and she had everything to do with our baby and getting pregnant.

At 18 weeks quickly after finding out we were having a baby girl we also found out we needed to go to the hospital immediately.  My cervix was 2mm long.  The next day I had a cerclage placed.  I was so scared and didn't know what to expect.  One week later at a check up I was up to 8mm which was a huge improvement.  Another week goes by and at another check up they discover the cerclage had pulled thru and basically wasn't doing a darn thing.   They did leave it in and sent me home.

Saturday night I got up to use the bathroom and my water broke.  I went back to hospital and I had lost all my fluid.  Baby was fine but the cerclage had to come out.  The next day I came home to think and pray it resealed itself.  This Tuesday I returned for another appointment.  I was so hopeful because I hadn't leaked any fluid after saturday and was drinking a gallon on water a day.  Unfortunately, as I was entering my appt I started feeling some leaking.  They got me in for ultrasound and rushed me back for a speculum exam.  My baby girl had put her foot right through my cervix.  There was no choice at this point because of the risk of infection to us.

I was induced tuesday afternoon and had her at 10pm.  She was 11.6 oz and 10 inches tall and looked just like her daddy.  She was tiny but so precious and so perfect.  Today I sit here feeling so many emotions.  Shortly I have to leave and make her burial arrangements.  She will be buried right next to her Grammy.  I want to get pregnant again as I am 35 with no children but I am so scared this will happen again.  I hope that my brain and body will want to try again as soon as they allow me too.  Anyone have words of wisdom or advice for me on how to grieve and be hopeful?

Mommaof3

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I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I have no words of wisdom for you as I have never had to go through anything like that. I have only had to be scared of being in such a situation. My heart goes out to you and I hope your dreams of becoming a Mom are soon fulfilled. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers!
Child #1: Born at 35 weeks, heatlhy
Child #2: Born at 34 weeks, healthy
Child #3: Short Cervix at 21 weeks, strict bedrest for 3 months, 7 weeks of which were hospitalized, dilated to 5 at 28 weeks, baby born at 37 weeks and perfect =)

megjean

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So sorry for your loss.  We will pray for you and that God will
help you find the right answer.  There is always hope and
if you want to be a momma you will be.  It may not be how you
envisioned originally, but there is always hope.

munchkinsmom

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I'm so sorry for your loss :(

We lost our first baby at 13 wks, not nearly as far along as you were though. It took us 4 more years to finally get pregnant again. I was scared through the whole pregnancy that we would lose her. I think once you've experienced a loss, you always worry it will happen again. You know it's not just something that happens to other people.

That being said, knowing ahead of time that you may be high risk can be very helpful in decreasing the risk of something like this happening again. I don't know you medical history and I'm not your OB, but maybe bedrest from early on might help with a future pregnancy? Or a cerclage placed earlier? Or something else that I'm not aware of. I would talk to your drs and see what they advise.

There's no easy way to deal with the loss of a child. I know in my experience, a loss is made easier when you find a way to release your emotions when they become overwhelming, rather than trying to repress them, and when you are able to find closure somehow.

I don't know if any of this helps. I would imagine not much would help me at the beginning of dealing with such a loss. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Proud Mommy to five munchkins - ages 10, 8, 6, 5, and 1
Baby #6 due 9/22/12 - bedrest from 14 wks due to contractions