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Author Topic: Lost Baby at 22 weeks 4 days  (Read 273 times)

Lonelily

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Lost Baby at 22 weeks 4 days
« on: January 26, 2018 at 02:04 PM »
I'm new to the forum. My husband and I just lost out baby girl (1st pregnancy) going on two weeks now and we are at a complete loss. She was 22 weeks and 4 days. We won't know what went wrong until the doctors get all the test results back in about 6 weeks and the wait is driving me crazy. I had no chronic disease, normal weight, no health problems during pregnancy, no signs of infection. We are really upset, too, because I showed up at the hospital earlier that day with what now seems like obvious signs of labor (spotting, fluid discharge, cramps, low backache, and hard stomach). They did some tests but diagnosed me with an irritable uterus and sent me home with gatorade (and told me to expect pain of 3-4 to stay the same or maybe even get a little worse). Told me not to return unless I was bleeding (didn't even warn me about preterm labor or to watch for contractions). They had tested me contractions and the machine said I was having activity. And they felt my cervix and said it felt strange but that was a anatomical variation, and normal. And they said my stomach was hard, but chalked it up to a fibroid. I came to the ER about 8 hours later (only the last hour was the pain worse) and they said I was 10cm dilated and it was too late to do anything. We held her for a precious hour and then she was gone and the doctors said they don't rescucitate until 3 days later (23 weeks). We have felt at every stage now like the medical team is unkind to us..they told us the morning eval was perfectly appropriate and that I wasn't in labor then, and then must have went into labor very fast after I left hospital..Has anyone experienced this? Does it seem like they made a mistake or missed something? They didn't do a vaginal ultrasound...

Angela

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Re: Lost Baby at 22 weeks 4 days
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2018 at 02:31 PM »
I can not express how sorry I am for your loss. There is nothing more devastating than losing a child. Would you like to tell us her name?

The frustration of not knowing why is unbearable, too. Many of us have been there. Please know that you did nothing wrong, which how many women feel.  Nothing anyone can say will change how you feel, but I can offer you a few suggestions, if that is okay.

There is a group called Compassionate Friends, which is a support network for infant loss. It is going to be so important to connect with people who have been there and who can guide you and support you. https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/to-the-newly-bereaved/

Do you have a therapist you can talk to? Your OB can recommend one, and the hospital might offer free counseling services with a social worker on staff. Don't try to handle this on your own. Perhaps your husband can go with you too.

My heart goes out to you... Prayers of healing to you and your family. (((hugs)))