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Author Topic: Road trip??  (Read 456 times)

EnglishRose23

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Road trip??
« on: March 07, 2018 at 01:17 AM »
So a very brief background (my full story is on another thread) I'm here on self-imposed modified bed-rest after extensive bleeding and cramping this pregnancy and a history of preterm labor (daughter delivered @ 24 weeks, son @ 28 weeks).

I have a dilemma approaching: next week I'm supposed to be taking my 3 year old son to see a geneticist, problem is it is almost a 4 hour drive each way, and one of the long list of things that sets off very painful cramping for me is bumpy car rides (and this will be backroads of Vermont for me to get there). I asked my OB about it at my 16 week check-up today and she wasn't too thrilled with the idea of her high-risk patient going for a long bumpy car ride but didn't say no-definitely-not either.

If it was anything else I'd have cancelled it already, but it's taken us 8 months to get this appointment, and it's likely our son won't be able to continue in the program that pays for his twice weekly PT unless we have a definitive diagnosis by his annual review coming up in a few weeks. I just hate taking a risk like this for something that is non-urgent. Not really something I can productively send my husband on alone since I've been the one managing our sons medical care from day one it would be hard from him to fill my shoes on this (its a rather complicated medical history).

Thoughts? Cancel or go for it and hope the ride doesn't trigger another bleed or worse?

OBmom

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Re: Road trip??
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2018 at 12:05 PM »
Hi EnglishRose23.

As an OB I'll tell you right now I wouldn't be thrilled either if a patient in your condition told me that plan. I'd actually be terrified. That being said, we spend a lot of time being terrified of the decisions our patients make while we're not looking  ;) You said it yourself, long bumpy car rides trigger contractions. And backroads of Vermont is definitely NOT the place to start bleeding again.

Sooo.. how can you work on alternatives? You are your son's primary caregiver, meaning you probably know more about his condition than anyone else. Is there any chance your husband can drive there and take your baby boy? When he gets to the doctors office, he can call you and you can speak directly to the healthcare professionals, right? That way the doctor can examine your son and you also get to relay the relevant info.
Doctors are (mostly) reasonable people, I don't believe anyone would mind a chat on the phone to spare you that grueling trip.  I mean, of course you would go in normal circumstances! It's just that now you need to think about this baby too...

It's still a really tough choice and I hope you can find a way to make it work.
Let us know what you decide?

Angela

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Re: Road trip??
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2018 at 03:41 PM »
Hi, EnglishRose.

That is a really tough decision. OBmom recommended what I was going to as well. You can join in by speakerphone, or even Skype if your husband brings a laptop. You have the absolute right to take part in this consultation, regardless where you are. I know it will be SO difficult to not be there in person. Another idea (to do along with the one above): Do you have a family member you trust who could go along as well to be an extra set of ears and even take notes for you?

I'm sure there's a nagging/frustrating feeling when you've handled all of the complicated details of your son's care and can't take part in a meeting you've waited so long for. I think if you call in for the appointment, you will be doing the best thing for everyone in your family.

My two cents, for what they're worth. Big hugs, mama!

EnglishRose23

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Re: Road trip??
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2018 at 05:49 PM »
Thank you both of you for your input. As reluctant as my husband is to attempt the journey on his own I think that's what we're going to have to do. I'll send him with some written out info for the doctor and a list of questions etc, and conference in if we can get a good connection.

My body ended up making the decision for us. After a good morning I've started up with some really painful contractions out of nowhere (but no bleeding so far at least). We are buried under a major Winter snowstorm right now so it would be dangerous to try to get to the hospital through 2 feet of snow. I'm going to have to ride this out till the roads clear tomorrow morning. I know baby is ok at least since she is busy kicking and complaining about being squeezed. Drinking lots of water, laying down and hoping for the best.

Lacyelfmom

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Re: Road trip??
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2018 at 02:33 PM »
Hope all goes well for you. I was also thinking the same thing as the other two comments. Send hubby and have doctor talk to you over the phone. If you explain to the geneticist that you are in a high risk pregnancy I'm sure he/she will be willing to be flexible about dealing with your situation.