I understand completely with so much of what you said! My daughter, who was also about 2 and a half while I was on bed rest was the same way. She started saying "I hate____ (insert name of caregiver here)!" And it didn't matter who it was. Same thing with the acting out; she liked to pull things off shelves, tables, etc. But, maybe that's just being 2, right? And she went through the mommy stage, too. Even now, she still wants mommy to do things, rather than daddy. So I try to look at it as a way for my husband and son to spend more time together.
One idea I have for you is to have other people spend time with her outside of the house. My DD and DH went to a train museum, the duck pond, and different things like that to take her mind off of what mommy could and couldn't do. And I made sure that mommy got dibs on doing any of the bed-friendly activities you mentioned: reading,, coloring,, Sesame Street games online, kid videos on YouTube, and even play-doh.
The potty-training thing bummed me out too. I had her down to diapers only at nap time, bedtime and for poopies, but all that went out the door. We did get back on track though, and now she uses a diaper at night and for Poopies (still!).
Looking back, I don't think she remembers bed rest at all. She didn't even notice when we took the futon that I had lived on for months out of the living room! And the moment Maddie walks into the hospital to see you and the baby, all these weeks will melt away, and you will fall in love with Maddie all over again.
Feel free to post any time! Hugs,
Angela