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Author Topic: 21 Weeks, 3rd Baby, First Time With Complications..  (Read 1091 times)


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21 Weeks, 3rd Baby, First Time With Complications..
« on: May 09, 2018 at 04:05 PM »
Hey there,

My name is Tyler, my wife Jasman and I are pregnant with our third baby, absolutely no issues with our other two, both were delivered by c-section at 39 weeks. Our current little one, Ayran, however decided to try and make his debut on Monday evening.

My wife felt pressure while trying to use the bathroom and called me to help, she felt as if something was "coming out." I immediately took her to our local emergency room and they began to take a look her. By that time she had already begun spotting and the nurse examined her internally, immediately called the ultrasound tech to perform an anatomy scan of little Ayran, which we had already completed the previous week. The ultrasound showed that our little one had his foot in my wife's canal.

We were told that she was completely dilated (she had no symptoms) and that she was experiencing a "missed miscarriage" due to an "incompetent cervix." We were taken to the l/d room and they put a purple butterfly on the door and told us that we were just waiting for her water to break and for her to deliver the baby. They shared with us the next steps and asked if we wanted to spend his final moments with him after delivery.

After a very rough, emotional and hopeless evening, first thing the next morning we met with an OB doc who (very bluntly) gave us two options: we can break her water and "get it over with quickly" or we can elevate her feet and put her on strict hospitalized bed rest for the next 3 weeks until Ayran reaches viability and can be transferred to a Level 3 facility where she can be assessed and under the care of a MFM Doc.

We, of course have decided to "keep him cookin'" and now at 21 weeks 3 days are trying to find a balance of me visiting the hospital as well as taking care of our other two little ones (boy 3, girl 5). I am also trying to keep mamma's spirits high and find things for her to do so she doesn't go stir-crazy.

I would love some stories from others who have come out of a similar situation, we need absolutely all of the hope and prayers that we can get at this point.

Thank you!


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Re: 21 Weeks, 3rd Baby, First Time With Complications..
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2018 at 04:50 PM »
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation.

Last September I was admitted to hospital under similar circumstances. Due to dilation and bulging membranes we weren’t candidates for a cerclage.

Unfortunately, my doctors did not prescribe to be in the Trendelenburg position like the doctors at your hospital did. We lost our little guy 5 days later. Hopefully this is the step it takes to get you to viability!

I’ve also heard of a “balloon” that they can insert while in the T. position to help coax the baby back into the uterus, allowing doctors to be able to perform a cerclage. I wonder if this a possibility for your wife?

I’ve compiled a list of items that I would like at the hospital should I end up on HBR again.  Maybe this can help your wife?

small snacks
phone + charger
Laptop + charger
Extension cord
Dry shampoo
Portable shelving/ hangers
Eye mask
Platypus/Camelback for water
Laptop tray
Flip flops
Fuzzy socks

Wishing you the best of luck in this hard time!


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Re: 21 Weeks, 3rd Baby, First Time With Complications..
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2018 at 05:01 PM »

Hugs to you and your wife. You are in a tough spot right now. I just wanted to share with you that there are hospitals now that will attempt to save the baby at 22 weeks, and most will attempt at 23 weeks if you push for it. The odds of survival are slim and severe disabilities likely for the ones that do survive, but I wanted to let you know the options are there. Definitely push to be transferred now and assessed by an MFM dr right away. I've seen women on this forum get successful cerclages with hourglass membranes (although never a foot but with how babies wiggle in the uterus I imagine that could pop back in). You also want to be getting steroids for babies lungs as soon as you are getting close to viability (at 22 weeks 5 days if you want to resuscitate at 23 weeks) and drugs to delay labor.

I had my waters break at 21 weeks with my daughter and she would have been delivered right then if I'd listened to the doctors at my local hospital. Insisted on being transferred and we made it all the way to 24 weeks before giving birth. Unfortunately we lost her in the NICU but at least she had a fighting chance because of the decisions we made.

Best of luck


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Re: 21 Weeks, 3rd Baby, First Time With Complications..
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2018 at 01:52 PM »
Hi Tyler,

So sorry for the terrible situation you and your wife are experiencing right now.
Making it to viability is the number one priority, you just hang in there. The forum is an immense pool of support for most of us, so feel free to express your worries and fears, or simply lash out. We hear you.
Sometimes with Trendelenburg and the right medication we can stop the membranes from bulging for long enough to place a cerclage. Anything that buys time is an option to consider.
I know early transfer might seem like a great idea, but keep in mind that any moves and jolts might aggravate the situation.
Best of luck to your family.