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Author Topic: 28 weeks and feeling hopeless  (Read 600 times)

MarilynS24

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28 weeks and feeling hopeless
« on: May 30, 2018 at 12:09 AM »
Hello, I’m new to this format and I was hoping to receive a little bit of comfort. I’m 21 years old and I was diagnosed with a short cervix when I was about 23 weeks. I was not recommended a cerclage due to how short my cervix already was. They put me on progesterone but had an issue with my insurance and had to receive the medication as an oral but was told to insert vaginally. For about 2 visits my cervix stayed about 2.0-1.8cm. On my third follow up it went down to 1.7. When I was about 26 weeks + 7 days my cervix went down to 0.7cm. My high risk doctor told me that most likely I will not make it to term and deliver pre maturely. Since the news I decided to put my self on strict bed rest, and I feel absolutely terrified on what’s to come. Tomorrow I will be 28 weeks and I have another doctors appointment to recheck my cervix length. I’m really scared and I don’t want to see my child suffer, due to what my body failed to do. I don’t know what to do and I feel so hopeless.

EnglishRose23

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Re: 28 weeks and feeling hopeless
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2018 at 02:07 PM »
Hi Marilyn,

Welcome to the forum. You will find a lot of us are right around the same gestation as you, I'm 28+2 today but it is funny how different we feel about it. I feel so victorious to have carried this far; far enough that my daughter will live and have a good chance of long-term health.

It is easy to feel like our bodies are failing us and our babies, but even if your child is born today your body will not stop growing and caring for them. My son was born at 28 weeks and I did 12 hours of kangaroo care in the NICU for him every day; my body kept him warm and regulated his breathing. My body that was so bad at pregnancy turned out to be very good at making milk, and the abundance of rich milk I fed him helped him grow big and strong. It is true that the babies born this early suffer with all of the needed medical interventions, but you are there too, singing to your baby, reading to your baby, changing your baby's diapers and making the harsh environment of the hospital into a home away from home. My observations of the other infants that came and went during our long NICU stay was that if you can make it to 32 weeks they suffer very little since they are mainly there to get bigger and stronger before going home. At 4 years old my son is bright and caring and mostly healthy (just some lingering vulnerability to respiratory illnesses).

My hope for you is that you will keep cooking a while longer, if you look back through some older threads on the forum you will find many mothers will similar stories who made it to full-term or close to it. But please take some comfort that even in the worst case scenario where you deliver this week things will be OK. Incredibly hard, but OK.

Lauren

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Re: 28 weeks and feeling hopeless
« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2018 at 02:14 PM »
Welcome to the group.

Sorry to hear the troubles you’re going through, but know that you’ve found a place where you will receive a ton of support.

You and I have the exact same due date! I will also be 28 weeks tomorrow.

You’ve probably already heard this, but 28 weeks is a huge milestone. When my cervix dwindled to approximately 1cm at 18 weeks, despite a preventative cerclage, I never thought I’d make it this far.

Like you, I am also on progesterone suppositories. My OB was part of a research team about the product and speaks highly of this method. I’ve asked several times about the shot, but he continues to advocate for suppositories instead. The running thought is that you are placing the medication exactly where it’s needed.

I have also been on bedrest since 16 weeks. I am allowed to get up to use the bathroom, grab some ready made food, and can sit as long as tolerated. I am not allowed to drive or to get into a car, unless it is for an essential appointment. In addition to this, I am on pelvic rest and cannot lift anything. My doctors do not want me to lie all day as it puts me at high risk of blood clots. So, I make sure to move my feet l, arms, and legs as often as I can.

One intervention that I have in addition to the progesterone and cerclage is a pessary ring. I insisted that it was placed at 18 weeks despite the fact that this is very rarely done in Canada. It took some convincing, but finally my OBs agreed to do it. Basically, a pessary ring is a river device that they insert vaginally. It goes around the cervix to help disperse the weight of your uterus on your cervix. It can easily be inserted and removed in less than a minute, and can be placed at any time during pregnancy (as long as you don’t have bulging membranes).  At first my doctors were skeptical that it would help, but they admitted it wouldn’t hurt. However, now that I’ve remained stable since 18 weeks (the best possible outcome), both my OVs and I truly believe that I wouldn’t have made it this far without it. Obviously, I am a huge advocate of the pessary ring now!

If this is a method that interests you, but your doctors are not comfortable doing it themselves, most hospitals have a pessary clinic. I would investigate that :)

If you haven’t already joined the incompetent cervix Facebook group, I would also highly recommend that as a support. There are so many success stories of women who have undergone the same experience as you.

Best of luck as you continue your pregnancy, I wish you nothing but the best!

And, if you’re bored and have nothing else to do at 2pm EST on Tuesdays, this forum has a live chat. Would be great to hat with you there!

littlemissamanda

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Re: 28 weeks and feeling hopeless
« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2018 at 09:20 PM »
Marilyn,

I'm gonna jump on the back of what the other '28 week' ladies said! I just reached 28 weeks on Sunday so you're part of our little group! I was diagnosed with a short cervix at 13 weeks when I started miscarrying - my second miscarriage in less than six months. I know how scary it is and I definitely empathize with feeling like your body is failing. If you read back any of my earlier posts, you will probably hear echoes of that exact sentiment. But the truth is, our wonderful bodies have got our babies this far. 28 weeks was the milestone my husband and I could barely hope for, and here we are. Each day now is a blessing; an extra day inside is one less day in the NICU.

My advice is definitely give yourself some time to go through the natural emotions, but also read the success stories on here. Many women who have super short cervixes go onto week 36+ and have healthy babies. Even if baby is born now, we have access to great doctors and medical interventions. I know it is hard, but try to trust your body. Rest up, try to relax (stress can make things worse) and if you have any preterm labor symptoms, call your doctor right away. We're here if you need to chat!

Amanda

Angela

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Re: 28 weeks and feeling hopeless
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2018 at 06:41 PM »
This is so crazy that we have four 28-week mamas! Let all be sure to get together on Tuesday at 2 pm Eastern for the Live Chat. Who can make it?

http://www.keepemcookin.com/live-chat/

Angela

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Re: 28 weeks and feeling hopeless
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2018 at 03:51 PM »
Don't miss the live chat TODAY at 2 pm Eastern/11 am Pacific: http://www.keepemcookin.com/live-chat/