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Author Topic: 33 Weeks, Day 25 of bed rest  (Read 172 times)

maddoxsmommy7

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33 Weeks, Day 25 of bed rest
« on: September 21, 2018 at 12:55 PM »
Hello.  My name is Chelsea.  I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with my first child, a baby boy.  At 29 weeks I went for my routine check up and was admitted to the hospital for high blood pressure.  After 2 days in the hospital I was sent home to remain on bed rest.  I have been admitted to the hospital 3 more times, when leaving the house for my once a week check up, due to my blood pressure.  Now I just plan to be admitted every time I go to the doctor.  My doctor has taken to calling me at home.  She believes my body is forming preeclampsia and at that time she will go ahead and take my son out.  They have a limit of high blood pressure where they immediately remove the baby and I have come with in 2 points twice now.  I am hoping to make it to at least 36 weeks as to limit the time my baby will have to spend in the NICU.  Each passing day that seems harder.  My doctor has told me to prepare for him to arrive any day.

I am a 6th grade teacher and my district offers no paid maternity leave or short term disability.  HR actually told me yesterday that if I take longer then 12 weeks, (which I will considering I have already missed 4) my school can legally fire me.  My principal has assured me she is not going to fire me, but still it adds to the toll of emotions that I a already feeling.  This week is when the depression has really set in.  My husband and mother have been amazing, but there is only so much they can do to help. 

I feel like a bad mommy and my son isn't even here yet.  It is my body that is causing the problems effecting him.  There are some moments I secretly wish to go into labor so this can be over with.  Then I feel an enormous amount of guilt because I am wishing for my son to be born premature and spend weeks in the NICU.  I just feel so overwhelmed, scared, and out of control. 

MMorgan

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Re: 33 Weeks, Day 25 of bed rest
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2018 at 05:49 PM »
These feelings are all normal, don't feel bad for feeling the way you do, you're going through a lot. I still say my body wasn't meant for pregnancy after having 2 high risk pregnancies. I had Hellp Syndrome with my first and Vasa Previa with my second. Only made it to 34 weeks with my second and she spent 2 weeks in the NICU. I would inquire with your doctor about a steroid shot to help the baby's lungs develop in case he/she is born early. Hang in There!

Angela

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Re: 33 Weeks, Day 25 of bed rest
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2018 at 09:08 PM »
Hi, Chelsea.
I completely understand how you're feeling and I know many moms here have felt those same emotions. The guilt, feeling like you failed somehow and that feeling of just wanting it all to be over. A high-risk pregnancy wears you down emotionally, no doubt. Then the things you would normally do to lift your mood (like exercise, shopping, going out with friends) are all off limits. No one knows how hard it is.

If you can accept what is out of your hands, that helps. I wish I had done that so much earlier.

It also helps to control what you CAN: eating well, inviting friends over, and checking in with your OB whenever you have ANY concerns. Are you checking your blood pressure at home? I had pre-e and the symptoms worsened quickly. Not to be a negative Nellie! Ask your family to keep an eye on you too for any symptoms: https://bit.ly/2opsa99

One other suggestion for helping your stress might be to check out the book called "Pregnancy Brain." The author is a friend and colleague of mine and the book is all about managing stress during a high-risk pregnancy. She has some exercises that you can do right then and there to shift what your body is experiencing. Here's a link: https://amzn.to/2xGp6ef 

I'm glad you reached out to us! Keep us posted, okay? (((hugs)))

maddoxsmommy7

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Re: 33 Weeks, Day 25 of bed rest
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2018 at 03:57 PM »
Thank you so much Angela.  You brought me some much needed comfort this morning. I normally feel better on the weekends because my husband is home, but today just isn't one of those days.  I was slightly frustrated with him because he called my doctor and told her I was depressed and she prescribed me Zoloft, which I really do not want to take.  At this point, I feel I would just feel guiltier doing something else that could harm my baby.

 I check my blood pressure about twice a day.  It is hard because when it is high I get upset which often makes it go higher.  One of my hospital trips was from me checking it at home and they told me to go in right away. I will download Pregnancy Brain today. 

Morgan, we had discussed the steroid shot at my last appointment and my doctors said we would decide this Tuesday if we should do it.  Thank you for your kind words.

It is nice to not feel so alone. 

Angela

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Re: 33 Weeks, Day 25 of bed rest
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2018 at 03:09 PM »
Hi, maddoxsmommy7.

I've been thinking about you these last few days. How are you feeling? Did you and your OB talk about getting the steroid shots and when it would be a good time to do that, if so?

Angela

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Re: 33 Weeks, Day 25 of bed rest
« Reply #5 on: October 12, 2018 at 07:03 PM »
Hi, Chelsea. How have you been doing these last couple of weeks?