mktarrant
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« on: July 17, 2010, 11:16:45 PM » |
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I lost my son on June 3rd. He was born June 1st and I was on bedrest exactly 4 weeks (from 24 weeks to 28 weeks due to low amniotic fluid) when my water broke, had placental abruption and my son, Sawyer, was born.
Just wondering if anyone else has gone thru a loss after bedrest. It seems even worse - because I did everything I was supposed to and I still lost my beautiful baby.
Not trying to scare anyone or bring your spirits down, but I'm so lost. I feel so alone.
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miaEG2
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« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2010, 10:30:21 PM » |
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i'm so very sorry for your loss. i have had several tragedies in my life. our firstborn, a son named grant, died suddenly at 15 months of unexplained causes. i miscarried a child at 16 weeks later that same year. then, i conceived twin girls, but i went into preterm labor and they were passed away upon delivery at 28 weeks. losing a child (never mind three of them) rips out your heart and challenges you every minute of every day to keep love and hope in your life. my body ached from each of the losses, and they still do now. but with the help of friends and a loving husband, i pursued parenthood and soon conceived again. after fourteen weeks of bedrest, i gave birth to my newborn daughter, astrid. at last, we are overjoyed... and grateful for every moment we have with her. the road to renewed parenthood has been long and difficult.
i know it will take more than people, like me, telling you, but please know that it is possible to get over this grief. for now, though, let yourself feel it, unapologetically. you are not alone in this particular loss, but it is still a very rare thing to experience the death of a child and so you will have to face a certain isolation. reaching out to loved ones (and maybe turning away from those who can't provide comfort int the way you need it) will help. friendship and compassion can sustain you, so look out for it where you can. take care...
mia
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mktarrant
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Posts: 29
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« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2010, 10:42:01 PM » |
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OH Mia I am so sorry for all of your losses. I appreciate you sharing your story with me. It's reassuring to not feel so alone in all of this tragedy.
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JValen999
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« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2010, 02:30:44 PM » |
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mktarrant and mia...im so terribly sorry about your losses. I lost my baby girl at 21wks due to IC....i was just wondering because both of you lost your babies at 28 weeks..did they try to help your babies after they were born? I am 19 weeks now and my biggest concern is getting past 24 weeks because when i lost my baby i was told "babies arent viable until 24 wks" I have also read that the survival rates of 28weekers are 90%.
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mktarrant
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Posts: 29
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« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2010, 09:04:54 PM » |
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At the hospital I delivered at, they will attempt to save the life of a baby as early as 21 weeks. I'm so sorry for your earlier loss.
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miaEG2
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« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2010, 11:19:27 PM » |
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jvalen999: i'm sorry if my story has made you nervous. yes, the survival rate for 28-weekers is very high. unfortunately my twins were an exception. i should add, too, that i went into "precipitous labor"---that is, labor came on very quickly and intensely. there simply wasn't time to try to stop labor or give the babies anything to speed up lung development. just know that my case is very rare. my doctors were devastated that it didn't work out so far along into the pregnancy. it happens and too bad for me and my husband, it happened to us. please just focus on the 90% stat that you mention. the chances are very good!
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mktarrant
Newbie
Posts: 29
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« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2010, 06:16:30 AM » |
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My son would have been fine in the long run, even though he was born at 28w, except he had a heart defect that killed him. Unless there are other issues, you should be okay.
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