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Author Topic: Looking for hope and advice at 21 weeks  (Read 202 times)

alexoakland

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Looking for hope and advice at 21 weeks
« on: May 22, 2019 at 09:03 PM »
I'm writing from the end of the worst week in my life. My wife had an incredibly easy pregnancy -- no nausea, low risk for birth defects, and all signs pointed towards a perfectly healthy baby. We were laughing all the way to our 20 week ultrasound, where we learned that her cervix was 5mm. She started having regular contractions (between 4-12 per hour).  Kaiser said they couldn't recommend cerclage when she was having regular contractions and put her on progesterone. 

It hasn't helped. Her cervix went down to 3mm, then dilated. We are both so scared, and don't know whether to give up hope.  It feels like our hospital is giving up on us, and I was wondering if anyone out there has had a similar situation (with regular contractions for a week) and ended up carrying to viability.

Also, has anyone had a cerclage performed when they were having contractions? I can't tell whether Kaiser isn't recommending one out of concerns for the health of the mother or because they don't think it's worth it to try to save the baby.

alexoakland

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Re: Looking for hope and advice at 21 weeks
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2019 at 01:16 PM »
Sharing in case anyone else finds this down the road that we lost the baby. Water broke at 21 + 2, but at least the mom is safe.

Angela

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Re: Looking for hope and advice at 21 weeks
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2019 at 04:34 PM »
I am so very very sorry. When you are ready, there are a few groups for infant loss I'd like to recommend:

Connected Forever: https://connected4ever.org/
Share: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Group: http://nationalshare.org/
Return to Zero: http://rtzhope.org/parents

The value of the support of other parents can't be measured. They understand what you are going through and can offer you so much comfort.

With thoughts of healing,
Angela
(((hugs)))

kkbwill

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Re: Looking for hope and advice at 21 weeks
« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2019 at 11:01 AM »
So sorry for the loss of your baby.   Prayers for all of you.